i need

1. retail therapy
2. the toys 'r us therapy
3. ice cream therapy
4. the couch potato therapy (i don't care if it's hbo, dvds, star movies, mtv, channel 55, vcds, espn highlights even just whatever)
5. give-me-a-hug-for-no-reason therapy
6. sob sessions (5 and 6 usually comes together...)
7. vice, any form of vice that comes to mind (you know why people turn to vice, because they need to know that they're doing wrong consciously, and vice-indulgence gives you to right to be wrong, something you can't do in reality)
8. the get-rid-of-all-my-communications-devices therapy (somebody keep my handphone, computer, pen and paper, just sew my mouth)
9. the please-sayang-me therapy
10. to disappear for a while.

ewan macgregor and nicole kidman

Come What May

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song
I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

from rachel

"forget the risk and take the fall."


then where and when would i land? who's going to save me in the nick of time?

thanks

for making me feel alot less important than i already am. if you had family commitments go ahead. STOP saying you want to see me when you bloody don't. stop saying things you don't mean. you stood me up not once, not twice, and surprise surprise THRICE. and don't keep asking me to join your family for dinner. try joining MY family for dinner as an outsider, how do you think you'd feel? sure i've spoken to your siblings sometime, but i just don't feel comfortable joining you guys for dinner supper whatever. i can't imagine how you tell me things and do another. the things you say just don't reconcile with the things you do. of course you hope i'll understand that you'd want to spend time with your family, but PLEASE don't say you'd meet me when you can't. and you only had to let me know today when we were supposed to meet today. i can't imagine why you'd do this. you call me up specially to ask me out all these times and each time you're the one who can't make it in the end. and i always try to make it because i want to meet you because i know you'd will be leaving very soon. but each time we can;t get to meet up because of some stupid excuse that you come up with. and SORRY's don't help if you had to say it a second or third time.

you wouldn't even make the effort.
you can't say something and do another that's the total opposite.

why do they always marginalise me?
why do they always say things and do another? it's like people are doing this on purpose to hurt you.

i hate it when i let people affect me so much. i don't even know why i should be so affected.

i feel so stupid i want to disappear for good.

guilty as charged

we were playing bridge and i got rather engrossed and let out some expletive extremely loud. and it didn't help that the guys kept reprimanding me. i feel so embarrassed. so much for wanting to stop swearing.

i must stop using expletives.
i must stop using expletives.
i must stop.

ken says i'm toooooo fat. but he's been so sweet to keep fetching me from one place to another this week i think i'm going to forgive him this time. and then hide in my bathroom and cry.

sugar is my comfort food.

it's funny how you

make me feel this way

without you now,

there is less to say

what if i asked,

would you stay,

or is it just one last kiss

before you leave?

voyueristic and bored

there are this two HIMBOS beside me in the com lab. they are the perfect replicas of female gossipmongers (i.e. himbos). their conversations go like this:

himbo 1: did you cut your hair?
himbo 2: no, it's getting longer.
himbo 1: it looks better like that.
himbo 2: you mean what? like that? no so flat is it?
himbo 1: yup. my hair is quite 'pong'.

himbo 1: you know just now we made friends in the tutorial. then they ask us why are we quarrelling.
himbo 2: why? you all quarrelled?
himbo 1: no la, i just teased her and she keep asking me things i just went ahhh ahhh ahhh ok.
himbo 1: then they asked us if we're together.
himbo 2: then what you say?
himbo 1: no la.
himbo 2: soon la, soon.
himbo 1: no la, siao. she so fickle. "fair-dap" la. (think he was secretly smiling, with my pheripheral vision, haha)

exactly like a female conversation. i'm not saying i don't talk like that, but it feels so weird hearing two big tall boys engaging in such mindless banter, like where to shop (they do it at queensway), what to do with your hair, my love life is ongoing but never existent. it's SO female and absolutely bimbotic.

HAHA.

melt -- the world cafe

they have these FAB.U.LOUS desserts, like drawers and drawers of desserts. it was a buffet but i just devoured all the desserts. ken brought me there because i am such a sucker for all the sweet goodies. it's so pricey at about 68 per person, but the desserts are heavenly! especially the strawberry mousse cake! but as usual i was being a total klutz ( i mean, being me) i had such a hard time pushing the drawer in after taking the desserts, i just yanked the whole stupid drawer in. absolute klutz. i think nobody saw. i think. i would have taken alot more photos but i was too busy indulging myself. :)