when sam said 'appreciate old friends', i wonder if he was talking about us. (:
it is nice to know you have a few good friends by your side all the time, it is comforting to know a few buddies are with you all the time, it is good to just have a few. we don't need a social universe, we have our own small world.
-courtesy of rachel, who is now opposite me while i am at this :)

my baby is off on monday which means we can spend our 23rdmonth together.

i thought by running away you would come after me, i thought by weeping you would comfort me, i thought by hiding you would search for me.
but you never did.

i picked this lovely quote from jiayu's nickname:

they must be jealous of us so loving, they took you away from me. forever.

i wrote you a letter today, but i didn't know where to send it to...

i think this sounds rather sick on my part, but i get this odd feeling, i keep seeing the time at 4.44pm lately, i may die soon i think. lest this premonition comes true (pray let it), to all my good friends out there, i love all of you and am thankful that all of you came and stayed in my life. because it is YOU that kept me going on. i'm sorry i haven't been good enough a friend as you were to me, because i was a selfish bitch who deserves nothing but hell. i'm sorry when i wasn't there when you needed me most, whilst i am still alive and kicking, i'm going to make it up to you people. a good deed deserves another. i live a life full full full of regrets, and it seems i can't learn my lesson at all, in fact i still take things for granted. i want to change for the better but i have this disgusting attitude that stops me. i have lost the passion for life. i cannot laugh loudly, i cannot smile sincerely, i cannot do things wholeheartedly now, i cannot live life to its fullest now, which was my only dream. lost the love for life, spontaneity for life, energy for life. how many of us can say i will live life to its brim, and leave no regrets when i leave this world?

will i get it back?

the time comes when you have lost the life in you, and each day you pass, you are only waiting for the moment into your grave.

adam sandler is my dream guy, well, apart from brad and jude and ewan and ken of course. and sang woo. haha. he is so uber uber uber charismatic! i like the longest yard although it is very cliched, but the esprit de corp thing keeps me watching such shows. i just like it alot! and he is so cute. and nice. and everything, he looks like a perfect father! i want to watch april snow. bae yong jun can also satisfy the dream guy criteria...but i am more thumbs-up for ksw.

(:

it was a good time. i don't have many people to call friends, but at least i am so glad i have a few close ones. that'll do. too bad someone is missing in the picture. (:

ken.

i wonder when can we meet up and have such a fab time again. nothing beats old friends. i feel sort of scared now actually. there is some kind of foreboding feeling. gosh, i miss you all already.

meeting up with the gang was very surreal, very dreamy, very worthwhile. because i haven't felt so relieved in such a long time, i sort of 'released' myself for that span of time. i haven't felt so carefree. but i know relaxing does come with a big price, so there goes. but in the meantime, i am going gaga over my new pink phone!

i am thinking of getting the new samsung phone, e530 something, i think. because it has many colours to choose from. plainly just that. haha. but i think it will be a birthday present from mommy. i thought she would just buy me a phone because i need one, since the current se is so old. which also means i can't get anything else anymore. or...can i? i feel like going bangkok with mom. but my dad will surely object since it is the school term. :( i wish i just lived with mom alone. i love her to a million bits and pieces.

i am so sick and tired of school. i am having my 5-hr break now and not feeling very fortunate about it. i really shouldn't have put my tutorials on an even week, because it is so hectic. i had to rush all my readings and assignments like a mad monkey. furthermore, it is such a coincidence that i have to attend my foster aunt's wake these few days making my week even more exhausting. i am so thankful i don't have to attend school this monday, but then again i might just go for my alternate tutorial. i don't know if i am making sense. because i have quizzes, quizzes and more quizzes to study for it is neverending. i think this is worse than common tests since cts are not WEEKLY! and i totally suck at my japanese, in fact i am lost in every subject. it is so disgusting my first semester is going haywired. i didn't even get to meet ken at all, this makes me the saddest. not one minute is spent without worrying about my schoolwork and i think ken will spend my weekend accompanying me doing my assignments. i say, taking a shower is already a luxury.

can't wait to watch stairway.
and i miss my boyfriend badly.