really at a loss. confused. dazed. everything's a mess. love can really damage your health.

Evanescence - Your Secret Admirer

How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth
How long have I stood here beside you
I lived through you you looked through me
Who's solid suit still with me is only you
Who's solid suit I can't stay away from you
How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who there is left alone by me
Who's solid suit forever me and forever you
Who's solid suit only you only true
Everyone leaves me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
I can't stay here not enough time
Your secret admirer
Who could it be
can't you see your the one
It was me how can you be so blind
Just to see right to me
And you started to stealin' me
And only you
Who's solid suit I could stay away from you
And who's solid suit forever me forever you
Who's solid suit only you and only two

Azn Dreamers - Secret Love

Dreams of love
My secret is with you
I think of how our love could be
But all my friends say I'm a fool
I don't care
What People have to say
Whenever I can I'll be there for you
I am sure I'll find a way
Whatever you do don't break my heart
Whereever you go we'll never part
'Cause I know our love is strong enough
And you'll always be my secret love
You and I
It's like the book of love
I must of read a thousand pages
But it seems it's not enough
I wish I, Could give the world to you
And when I see a falling star
Then I will make that wish come true
Outta luck, outta hand
make me understand
Baby please
All I need, is to see what it takes
For me to win all of your love

you keep my eyes open. you keep my heart beating. you keep me alive. i'll be waiting by the window. i'll be waiting by the stars. i'll be waiting, waiting...

Senses Fail - Dreaming A Reality
From the album "From The Depths Of Dreams"

Is this what it's like?
A dream lacking serenity?
A wordless conversation, a "you and I" without me.
Well I try and I won't get far,
I'll die and I won't get far,
I'll try and know that everything's okay.
So I guess this is where I lie.
Where the days are endless and the nights, they just don't belong. [x2]
Dreaming my reality
Where truth and fiction don't seem to exist.
Confusion is home here, but believe in you is what you insist (it's what you insist).
Well I try and I won't get far,
I'll die and I won't get far,
I'll try and know that everything's okay.
So I guess this is where I lie.
Where the days are endless and the nights, they just don't belong.
Nights, don't belong, the nights, don't belong, and the nights, they just don't belong.
Nights don't belong I'll never be ok, as long as I'm dreaming a reality.

laughter drowns the tears. smiles cover the pain. feigned happiness disguise the real sorrow. all's nothing but a pretense.

the pastures on the other side always seem greener. i wish i could do it. i wish i could just speak. i wish i could look into your eyes. i wish i could read aloud my feelings. there's something still missing in me. i don't want another torn diary page. i don't want another wet pillow. i don't want another broken broken heart. the journal pages just keep filling, the tears just keep brimming. i'll soon be another nothing but a reject. the perfect love's always in my dreams. i wish i can sleep forever, just to be with you, just to make the impossible come true in my heart. the hero of my only fantasy. i'd like to be everything you'll like me to be, i wish you knew. the secret just lies, the unhidden truth. all it takes is a smile from you to keep me going, all it needs is a look from your eyes to mine to keep me living, all of it is you. you're my pillar of strength, my reason for living.

seeking.solace.in.waiting.seeking.comfort.in.waiting.the.sweet.sorrow.of.love.the.bitter.joy.of.a.secret.love.

so much behind this naked smile. this hollow smile. i need more than just mere courage. life's not a matter of choice, there's nothing much i can do. there's just so much to say, so little time, too little courage. so many things happening at the same instant, i just can't bear this burden anymore. i need an outlet, i'm not having any space...i feel like crying. it's not up at me, everyone is angry, i'm so in angst. i'm scared. i need to run away. fast.