Just for fun

List your Top 5 things of 2008: moments, people, music, movies, books

1. singfest...and many other moments that i can't think of now
2. heath ledger
3. happily ever after by ben harper
4. brokeback mountain
5. candy by luke davies

i wanna be a boho baby

it has been hectic. lots to do at work, many events during the weekends, endless proposals to finish. totally swamped!

for today i take a breather finally, having finally completed a proposal due today. this is a tough job, with neverending tasks and absolutely irregular hours - you never know when the boss(es) will spring up with a job for you, like at 530pm...nothing is certain! and that's the part i hate. i have to do numbers, which i absolutely abhor! i definitely do not mind writing up my proposals, sometimes it's even like doing your term paper (which i find totally nostalgic, brings back my uni memories and weirdly, an adrenalin rush as well...:) but not the costing part, calculators and numbers are so NOT me. i shall not rant on work per se anymore.

---> in sam's words: i am a survivor and it shall stay that way! please clap for my wee bit of optimism.

taking the mrt train during peak mornings have got me thinking deep. the faces i see, each and every one, so spaced out. it is really alienation personified. why do we live? what do we work for? there seems to be no proper purpose, unless you deem religion as your purpose.

i don't want to work to live. i want to LIVE LIFE, by seeing the world, by experiencing the world wholly. i want to travel, have no reservations, no burdens, to lead a totally carefree lifestyle. a utopic bohemian lifestyle. i never believed in dreams because i hate giving myself false hope, but i guess i have one now - to be a true-blue bohemian! i'll work to earn my feed as i travel, i don't need the material luxuries, as long as i can do whatever i want whenever i like...i can go on forever on this...maybe i shall, when my thoughts are more coherent and substantial...


on another note: an advanced Merry New Year to all! hope 2009 will be a better year for everyone, in every sense or in any sense or in whatever sense you want. :)

to all concerned:

yes, ta-da, i am still alive! unfortunately.

i am up to my neck, with plenty of proposals to finish, with VERY tight deadlines, thanks to my dumb company and bosses. i have to stay late almost EVERY day and even work during events on weekends. i seriously hate this lifestyle - i have a boyfriend whom i want to hang out with, i have parents whom i want to spend time with, i have a life. i am seriously stranded around here...i don't if i should resign without securing a job first, given the bleak financial climate these days. plus, i've have just shifted house and have a whole load of debts to start paying. i just feel that i should just play my part as well with footing part of the bill, at least, work for my own allowance so my parents don't have to upkeep me. i feel like i have a huge burden on my shoulders, which suck. i'm only so young, i feel the responsibility of a 32-year-old, and my type A personality is definitely not helping.

i am really helpless. stay in this crap company which works me to my BONES, squeeze me dry of my every living hour...i am truly troubled.

i hope somebody up there has plans for me, i will try my best to press on with the littlest bit of maturity i should develop as an adult. it is, not easy growing up.

will be going for a dental appointment tomorrow, hopefully the dentist will extract my wisdom tooth/teeth and i will be on medical leave for the rest of the week~! still thinking if i should extract 1 or both, the teeth is really irritating me. i can imagine my swollen cheeks. i only have ONE book to pass me by, i have no time to get another! hope this will be a good rest for me as well, have been working far too hard...i'm getting burnt out soon.

please wish me luck as well, can't imagine the pain of extraction!

somebody, give me a new job.

unbelievable:

1. i have been working for 4bloodymonths. *screams
2. kenn and i have been together for a good 5 years! *shrieks
3. he asked me out ONE WEEK IN ADVANCE i.e.:

him: next sunday you free anot?
me: hm? dunno eh. why leh.
him: you free anot.
me: hm? i think so. why you ask lydat. so funny.
him: just want to ask you out la. i want to date you mah.
me: why so funny, ask me so early.

*the conversation went on like that for a while, leaving me very puzzled why he actually took the initiative to ASK me out...until this week i realised it will be our 5th anniversary on sunday! *gleams

and i still like being with you. happy 5th anniversary, kenneth. :)

my first project, amore women's day out is finally over. it was thoroughly an enriching experience for the past 3 months, i have learnt alot during this period (and also lost a fair bit of sleep and social life). working in events, in this company has humbled me alot. no more the princess in me, without lifting a finger to do the littlest of things. working in events is really TIRING, and zero glam factor. trust me, whatever they show in the movies is purely FOR SHOW.
at the same time, i have gotten to know many many people whom i may not have gotten a chance to meet had i not ventured into events, and this is something i am grateful for. i have received words of thanks from my partners which is probably the only job satisfaction i get out of working in this company. people that you have been liaising actually make the effort to meet you at the event to get to know you - a definite a feel-good experience. this is called real trust and teamwork.
i realised that working requires a GREAT deal of trust between you and people. so many things are agreed upon without actual meetups and things still eventually fall into place, making the whole journey a smooth one. this i think, needs an good deal of trust, i find it actually remarkable that in this dog-eat-dog world, people need each other in order to maintain social order. this is real sociology - trust is a social glue!
i have much to say during my 3 month project, but also much much more to learn as well. learning is a never-ending process and it really depends on the learner. i feel sad that i am getting jaded abit too early...perhaps i should have never started working so soon. well, i guess i have to make the best out of it now. it is now also time to think through the pros and cons of staying in this company, in this line...

I AM BUSY TO DEATH.

anyhow, kenn, just wanted to say i love you, and a million thanks!

to ALL my girlfriends, i miss you so much! must meet up soon!

this is how i want it.

just so happy. :)

i'm starting to hate my job. i was pretty eager in the beginning to work in events, thought of all things glamourous. now i know, people in the industry should, working in events is just crapwork. and i fucking hate those fuckedup clients who think they own me just because we're carrying out a project for you. hello, you think you're the only client and i have to devote every single second of my time to your project?
i hate to listen and say 'okok' and then smile, whilst all i want is to give the person a good punch. i'm usually the kind to express what i dislike, working in this line has made me swallow my pride, and that sucks. having to say yes to the clients even when i don't agree, that is total torture. i just want to give all those fuckedup clients a good beating, from head to toe. if they like to take over my job so much, by all means.
i feel bad for my manager, she is very nice but she has to leave me to the event myself 'cos of her other work commitments. i don't blame her but i think i'm probably not cut out for this job in this company...they just throw you on the job like that...you have to be a really fast learner or else it's a slow death for you. every event i feel like i'm going to war, having to battle the clients who are enemies. it's really getting tiresome, especially having to face those high-and-mighty fuckheads. i just feel sick of everything. it's SO much work, i've been here for 2 months, but i feel like i've been working for 2 years. also, i just got confirmed a few weeks back, now i'm really regretting confirming, 'cos i'd have to give 1 month's notice for resignation...i'm really thinking it through. i don't want to be spoilt and fussy, on one hand, i'm really getting burnt out, on the other, i guess you'd still be laden with other kinds of problems in another job...i don't want to be labelled weak, spoilt, quitting 2 months after my job, but there are so many concerns to consider as well...

i'm tired.

*thank YOU. for always always being my bestest friend. if i smile, it's for you. if i weep, it's because i have you, someone i can always rely on to dry my tears.

starting from this week, i will be working non-stop for at least 14 day since i will be having weekend roadshows. not a single day off. not one. i'm getting burnt out soon.

AHHHHHHHHHHH. OVERWORKED. work, work, work, work, work!

Overworked, Underpaid. i need a life.

COMPLAIN.

to cut a long story short, due to some miscommunication between the big shots (maybe just ONE big shot), i might have to do some damage control. i'd arranged for a meeting with one of my sponsors but due to some miscomm, i didn't go down and my client had NO IDEA.

she was expecting me and i innocently thought she was aware the meeting was cancelled. all because of ONE big shot in the company. my co-workers and i are doing concurrent but separate projects with this client, a super big-time player in the night entertainment, when my colleague went down for her own project, the client asked for me without knowing i wasn't coming down. which is fantastic. she must have a pretty bad impression of my project now...which also means i have extra work to do tomorrow!

some people have NO professional ethics. how can someone just say "oh shit, i forgot to tell xxx" 30 minutes before the meeting? THIS IS WORK; NOT YOUR DINNER DATE. i think my effort has so simply gone down the drain. and she didn't even seem remorseful. sometimes i really feel bad for my own manager, because SHE is some big shot, we really can't say anything.

TSK.

p.s. i need to get an agnesb namecard holder! :)

singfest was GOOD!

wait till i have the luxury to load vids and pics up, till then!

amidst the hustle and bustle of a slave-driven working life, i am grateful for my ever-supportive boyfriend! he has been fetching me from work and bringing me for dinner almost every night, something that i cannot be too thankful about...the only thing i look forward to every night! i really miss my girlfriends though, working in events = ZERO social life (other than your co-workers). i miss you all alot, hope you all are better off! :(

i've been offered another job, slightly more than my current pay, with definitely shorter hours. i thought about it over the weekend and rejected it. before this job offer, i told myself i'd definitely quit once i get another offer, but i didn't after all. the job sounded boring, compared to my current job, plus i'm pretty used to the working culture in my present place...i guess i'm not that adverse towards it after all. the job scope is fun but very fast, and pretty challenging, people at work are generally nice, and i have a very patient direct supervisor, which i am grateful about. however, like i always say things are always..."so far so good, we can never be too sure".

let's see how long i can last!

one word: deadbeat.

working kills me.

i think i'm going to die from overwork.

i wake up never to meet the light, i knock off never to see the light.

i am overworked, underpaid. neverending work. people at work are slavedrivers, and i feel the need to push my limits too. but i don't want to be burnt out so quickly.

the things i learn are numerous, what i've learnt in a week feels like i've been working for months. the pace is so fast, i'm afraid i can't catch up. so many things, so little time, this time i'm really testing my limits.

today i woke up at 5.30, had to reach work at 645, i ended work at 630. 12 hours of work. and the rest of the days? i start at 9 and i don't end before 9. 12 hours everyday, even weekends, where the hell do i find a work-life balance?

it's so ironic, we're organising a family day for a client, and we?! how do we organise a family day event without actual experience?!

TELL ME; WHY AM I WORKING SO HARD?!

extremely tired.

what do i gain from this, i constantly ask myself, it has been 2 weeks, sometimes when i think i've found the answer, something comes along and deludes me.

I AM DAMN TIRED.

i ought to find some time to rethink this. i'm so fucking tired everyday, i sit on the train home just stoning. literally a zombie.



p.s. on another note...the dark knight


heath ledger's joker performance was impeccable. totally outshone christian bale, whom i thought wasn't given much space to develop his potential. i was totally in awe of ledger's joker role, like overwhelmed to the point where i thought the joker was simply disturbing...it's a must-see for heath ledger alone - a worthy performance. other than that, i thought it was far too draggy and boring in the beginning. i must emphasize that ledger's performance is NOT overrated, you gotta see it to believe it! psychotic yet breathtaking!

heath ledger aside, the joker reveals the subconscious dark side of everyone...you & me, how loneliness seeks company, how morally complex you & me are...the character is brilliantly crafted. there is this desperation the joker brings out that you & me have all experienced before...i can't describe it properly, but it seems easy to relate to, somehow.

i need a rainbow that never ends
so don't take away your safe, warm hands
i need a rainbow that won't disappear
so don't be absent for my tomorrows
only you know why my tears fall
only you know how to dry the loneliness from my walls
i need a rainbow that doesn't fade,
without all the stormy weather and rainy days
so take my hand and bring me away

haha.

psychomotor disability

i drove myself home the past 2 nights. i only can thank ken for being so painfully patient with me. i've got problems going into the correct lanes and i realise the prior bbdc driving lessons were merely really just lessons. we keep driving along the same roads for practice and it's only now when i realise the road conditions are SO MUCH more different and unpredictable.

not to mention, i can't even park - there are no poles, i don't know what to see (i really suffer from psychomotor difficulties)! ken gave me this incredulous look - the look that said "see la, you learn in your si ban (rigid, inflexible) way, now outside you dunno how to park". HAHA.

i guess ken will insist on me taking the wheel more often now, i really need the practice. :)

heart of greed

this hongkong drama serial is really GOOD. i just started watching, only at episode 12 of 40, and it's already very engaging. the acting is so intense, my emotions were just overwhelming. i'm no newbie to crying while watching dramas, but this is definitely not some romantic sob story. it's a serial about family matters, ultimately ending up with members trying to gain a share of the 6 billion family inheritance. as far as i've watched, i'd say this series is a must-watch. and, watch it in cantonese, its original version, mandarin dubbing just doesn't do hong kong serials justice.

a bond strangling the surviving heart

one day when the day was warm
i thought of you,
amidst the summer's storm
how do i forgive you
for leaving all too soon
how can i forget you
a sibling all too short
not crying because you're gone
only saddened there's no one to share
what could have been yours and mine
a stinging longing that never greys
watch me limp away,
into a memory that stays

nausea.

i am so damned pissed even the king of hades would be scared. i am as hungry as i am pissed. i am so damned angry i need to vent. on what, i don't know, and i don't have - anything or anyone to vent on. GOSH, I AM JUST SO DAMNED FRIGGIN' PISSED. AND SAD. GDI GDI GDI! and i feel like throwing up. i am so bloody hungry i can't even throw anything up! my stomach's churning inside out it's so fucking uncomfortable yet i can't do anything about it. i am, again, so damned PISSED OFF.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh argh!

i've gotten addicted to stand-up comedies lately, watching them on video. they provide a good source of entertainment anytime, anywhere. here are my recommendations (not in order of any preference):

1. russell peters (this "brown guy" is fantastic for his take on racism, for jokes at himself and fellow others, he makes you laugh just by standing on stage. seriously.)

2. chris rock (he's genuinely funny - for his "advice" on men and women, marriage and singlehood, you'd most likely relate to his anecdotes very easily)

3. george carlin (he is THE MAN for dark, political and religious satirical humour - to use 'humour' would be kind of patronising, he makes incredible points of issue regarding the sensitive topics, which i find so amazingly true. note: not for the conservatives, religiously-sensitive - his 'humour' can be too much to take!)

there is so many more comedians worthy of notice, these are just my personal favourites.

sex and the city

aside from sarah jessica parker's sagging skin, i thought the movie was decent enough! it was such a girls' movie, perfect for a girls' movie night out! it's entertaining, some kind of fairytale-ish, happy ending type of fun movie, it's obvious who the target audience of the movie is. doesn't really matter whether you've been a follower of the series, as long as you're female, it's sort of gets to you in a way or another. plus, it relates a girl's worst nightmare : being abandoned at the wedding altar (gasp! sidetrack: so don't even try getting married in the first place). basically, the movie is just alot of female indulgence - in fashion, brands, love and everything girly!

Rules:
A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.


#1 If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
i'd rant and rave and be really legitimately childish and get back at him, or THEM.

#2 If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
i don't know. can dreams really come true? else why would they be called 'dreams'?

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?
i think i would say what would be my 'ideal' wedding be like...held ON A PLANE! on the way to my honeymoon destination, all the guests on the plane with me, which is probably only a handful, just the usual immediate family and friends. if i could have it my way, i'd prefer a western fashion just a simple ceremony on the plane, minus the old fashioned wedding dinner, just alot of BOOZE AND DANCING AND PARTYING after the wedding (minus the parents, that is)

#4 Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
yes, extremely, i don't see my mind clearing up anytime soon...

#5 What’s your ideal lover like?
someone who is also my best friend, a pillar of strength for me (i'm actually very emotionally and physically weak i think), who loves me as who i am, ideally would have no eyes for no other legs than my thunder thighs, have no room for other homosapiens except me (maybe his parents, yes i assume my ideal lover to be MALE), and ideally my lover should be LOADED (with money, that is), someone who can be lots of fun together with me, able to catch up with me and catch me, someone able to have fast fun yet love slowly...


#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
i like to have the best of both worlds, so my ideal lover should constitute of both personas!


#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
WHY do i have to wait for someone i really love? I think i can only tell if i really love that someone after we've been together.

#8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I don't know...too bad i guess? Maybe we can be friends and if he happens to be unattached sometime later while I'm also still unattached then there can be a possibility...


#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
everything. and nothing.

#11 Is being tagged fun?
i think so. at least someone thought of you sometime. being thought of feels nice.

#12 How do you see yourself in 10 years' time?
i do not live for the future, who knows, i might be dead tomorrow?

#13 Who is currently the most important person to you?
who are, i would say. my mum and my SO.

#14 What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
fun and possibly similar to me in ways of thought...(wani, that's you)

#15 Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
SINGLE AND RICH. DUH. wth, why is this even a question?

#16 What’s the first thing you do every morning?
think why i am still alive.

#17 Would you give all in a relationship?
yes. if the person is worth it.

#18 What is the sweetest thing someone has done for you?
being there for me.

#19 What type of friends do you like?
friends who never judge and who can keep secrets!

#20 If you played a prank on someone, & he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
laugh?

i'm tagging shimin, carine, stanley, angel, hwan, and anyone who reads this!

her hands may not produce Beethoven’s symphony,
but what she does for me,
is worth more than all that money.
her voice may be no music at times,
but what she says will help, you’d find.
more than gold and better than silver,
she’s no queen but she is my mother.

happy mothers' day to all! :)

i hear him singing all so far
as if he was born on a different cloud
the songbird singing
little by little,
filling up the emptiness in my ears
like a force of nature
adding on the weight of my heart
hung in a bad place inside my chest
a quick peep was all it needed
to tell it's probably all in the mind
it's probably all in the mind

-made up of titles from oasis, heathen chemistry

sociology: a dialectic discipline

i had my last paper at nus today. somehow i feel it's some kind of divine intervention that sociology is my last paper, it is symbolically significant to me. for all the things university life has exposed me to, sociology is the best thing. it has opened up my mind so broad i would never have imagined, though i would not say better, because betterment would take a relative aspect.
sociology has refined my thinking process, something like in an irreversible manner. sociology has this magical ability to penetrate on your cognitive processes so unknowingly and yet simultaneously, made you much more frighteningly aware of your surrroundings, whether you like it or not. sociology has put on me this hyper-aware radar which makes me extremely sensitive to not just issues, but life.

once a sociologist, always a sociologist. :)

these are the times when you just want to pack up and leave, plug in your ipod, fly off to some city, walk down the unfamiliar streets, just wandering about...it's funny how one feels the most comfortable in an unfamiliar place, all oblivious to the environment, no one to bother about, nothing to worry about. i just want to scoot off, without a care in the world...

bury me in honor
when i'm dead and hit the ground
a love back home unfolds
if you love me
won't you let me know?
- violet hill, coldplay

my mama

happy birthday, mommy (though you'd probably never see this)!

i love you so much, and this song says it all:

somebody's hero, jamie o'neal

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world,
No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know

She's somebody's hero
She didn't get a check every week like a nine-to fiver
But she's been a waiter, and a cook and a taxi driver
For twenty years, there at home, until the day her girl was grown
Giving all her love to her was her life's ambition
But now her baby's movin' on, and she'll soon be missin' her
But not today, those are tears of joy runnin' down her face

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her daughter in her wedding dress
She gave her wings to leave the nest
It hurts to let her baby go down the aisle she walks right by
Looks back into her mother's eyes
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero
Thirty years have flown right past
Her daughters' starin' at all the photographs
Of her mother, and she wishes she could be like that
Oh, but she already is

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her mother in a rockin' chair
She runs a brush through her silver hair
The envy of the nursing home
She drops by every afternoon
Feeds her mama with a spoon
And that smile lets her know
Her mother's smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

my mother, my hero. :)

i tried to refrain from being too obsessed posthumously with heath ledger, but i can't. he has, though admittedly posthumously, affected me so much, he's become a integral part of my life. i've been waiting to see the 'recent' (how ironic does this read) heath on the big screen, i bought the tickets to i'm not there the moment i knew it was screening at the film fest.

frankly, heath ledger was the only reason for the movie. nevertheless, i thought it was remarkable how todd haynes, the director, came up with the ingenious portrayal of one's biography with 6 different depictions. that aside, personally, i thought the story lacked proper flow, it lost me in the middle, it was hard to keep up with the various skipping scenes.

anyway, back on to heath ledger. i thought he put up a brilliant performance (maybe i AM biased), it felt so good seeing him doing his craft, just the way he would, it might seem perverse to mention that his voice was even soothing. throughout the whole movie, i was waiting for his scenes and it's bizarre to feel that he's still so very alive. it's haunting to know that the very person you're looking at now is no longer here. maybe comforting, it's to know that celebrities still live on forever after their deaths.

how to be an immortal

1. be an actor.


2. but make it a hollywood one, make it a famous one, so join The Hollywood Factory, Hollywood "R" Us.


3. then die young. preferably leaving behind a kid or two.

the mass media will have its ways and means to bank on you, dig up your what-nots, dirty or dirtier, it's practically free publicity, only that you won't need it since you're DEAD. what's crazy is the impact on the grieving, which nobody ever cares about, unless the grieving happens to also be a celebrity (think michelle williams). people will still pay the paparazzi to stalk her and her 2-year-old baby, people still like the low-down dirty laundry or whatever's left of the famous.

at the same time, it's marvellous to know that your beloved celebrities will live on in their songs, their movies, and everything else tangible. the residue they leave behind, lives through through you, too. :)

i think i need to watch brokeback mountain again.

a historical drama filled with anticipation, but not while it lasted. it was extremely engaging in the beginning to see how ruthlessness and rivalry developed between the two sisters vying for the queen's affection. the engrossment didn't last throughout the movie for me, but i guess it's still worth a watch. but it seemed absurd to portray the male gender as the puppetized gender, in a period drama! i thought it could have been alot richer in terms of character development, some parts seem to fall short of natalie portman's acting ability. but for a humble moviegoer like me, it's alright!

WWRY was exhilaratingly good! i highly recommend it, it runs till end of April, so catch it while you can! it feeds on the futuristic era, brave new world-ish, but i shan't provide any spoilers here, it's a major QUEEN song fest. don't worry if you're not a big queen fan, chances are you'd have heard more than half of the songs before, and you'll enjoy it. there's student concession as well, $50 for Cat A seats, it was totally worth it, so good we bought the OST immediately!

under pressure, pushing down on me~

once again, you remind me why you deserved to be loved so much. you're such an amazing person, your actions sometimes profound me - i wonder how things always come through for me with you around. i seriously don't know what i'll do, what'll become of me without you, kenneth.

a million thanks won't do you justice, a thousand hugs can't express my gratitude, i don't know how.

to use the word 'boyfriend' to describe you cannot encompass what you mean to me. it seems so frivolous and empty. you surpass everything a boyfriend should or could be.

i just want to thank you for being my bestest friend in the whole wide world. :)

there is an inner lover, an inner deviant, an inner daredevil lover. for everything we will, swimming together in the man-made blue pool, exchanging kisses underwater, where the world is oblivious to us. never mind the addict in each of us, we save each other everytime. there is a criminal desire, to steal and not get caught, to love and not be afraid, to fight and still stand tall. we would wear black and drink junk, poke needles up our flesh and sleep together, shoplift into our pockets and watch each other's back. never an element of surprise between us, always a sense of telepathic connection only we share. a downward spiral string from ecstasy to hell, yet remains ridiculously attractive, a bohemian passion only shared between the two daredevil lovers: a boy, a girl, crime, drugs, and love.

why do i have so many so many things to do, so little will to get them started, so little time to complete them? and murphy's law embodies my whole life.

Murphy's law is an adage in Western culture that broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. "If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way." It is most often cited as "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong".
-wikipedia

procrastinators: leaders of tomorrow.

tsktsk.

candy (2006)

CANDY is a movie about a junkie couple, based on the novel by luke davies, tracked on love and addiction. it is cult fiction, yet it is easy to relate to in most sense, although i am by no means a physical addict of any kind. the drug parts are not as wicked as any other drug films, like trainspotting or walk the line. but this calls on the bond the two shared despite their hard-to-get-by junkie days.
it is a modest and simple film in which "less is more" works perfectly well. it is personal and detailed unto each of the characters and especially empathetic which made me love it so much. i'm reading the book now, although i pretty much hold by the testament that movies hardly ever do books justice, movies do indeed provide a different visual dimension to books and i think these two are entirely different things that should be independent of each other.

i find the movie so intense. not intense in the addict way, but how differently each character demonstrate their love for each other. the lines are so poetic, so romantically poignant, the kind where you immediately want to take down with any pen and paper you can find.

for all who enjoy a drug movie that will strike an emotional chord, please watch CANDY!

"we lived on sunlight and chocolate bars."
-candy, 2006

the film fest is here again, go catch something soon! many of the films have only one screening each, so do get your tickets fast. :)

a permanent sense of loss, incredibly felt, totally incomprehensible. like a walking wound.

"I have that feeling inside, like when something really tickles or delights me - it's not singular. I recognize all the awful things in the world, and in spite of them, I can still laugh. "
-michelle williams

i can totally relate to this.

step up 2 the streets!

i love all these dance shows, marvelling at the choreography!

HELP NEEDED

i am currently working on a paper for my module: Exploring Attitudes of Females on Premarital Sex. i will be needing respondents who are

- males and females who have had premarital sexual experience
- between the age of 18 - 28
- unmarried
- 'fuck buddies' or 'friends with benefits' (people who are currently engaged in or have had such relationships)

i will only be talking and interviewing you to find out your views on premarital sex. i understand that this is a very personal issue and information collected is only for the use of my academic paper. it will just be a simple conversation of two very open-minded people, there will be no judgement issues along the way, i assure. :)

if you are willing to help, or know anyone who is, kindly contact me at endt.social@gmail.com. i assure that utmost confidentiality will be kept and information is purely for academic purposes only. informant identities will be kept anonymous to maintain academic integrity.


please help me to complete what-may-be my last research paper, your help is much appreciated!

happy ever after

"The morning sunrise spread her wings
While the moon hung in the sky
Held the sea in your hands
And happy ever after in your eyes
Couldn't leave you to go to heaven
I carry you in my smile
For the first time my true reflection i see
Happy ever after in your eyes
Every star in the night
Promises the dawn
I will be there if you fall
To ever so heavily rest upon
All that i can give youIs forever yours to keep
Wake up every day with a dream
And happy ever after in your eyes
Happy ever after is in your eyes "



this is the song/lullaby Ben Harper wrote for Heath Ledger's daughter, Matilda. the beauty of words, to convey as closely as possible of one's emotions, to the best they can. it's been more than a month, and i still can't get over it. you see all these pictures and moving images of him everywhere, and because celebrities have always been so 'far' from us, it's hard to believe they're really gone. i'm not sad, i just can't come to terms with it properly.





with no references to any religion, just an apt song with suited lyrics,



Inxs 'God's Top Ten'



Romance is gone, he's drifting with the stars
A lyric in his pocket, little girl in his heart
When you hear his songs on the radio
I don't need to tell you what you already know
He's on God's Top Ten where Heaven never ends
You saw the world and the world saw you on the stage
Wild wild wild colonial boy
Roquefort le pont, your gypsy heart is free
Pictures on the wall of your family
He's on God's Top Ten where Heaven never ends
He's on God's Top Ten
Baby's got momma's eyes, she was always beautiful
When you hear his voice, feel his arms around you
You remember momma smiling, a daddy's little girl
Bad weather, cold media storm
He's on God's Top Ten where Heaven never ends
He's on God's Top Ten






can't wait to watch his last two movies! (i can't believe i had to type the word 'last').

JUNO (2007)

this is a MUST-WATCH! i've read many rave reviews about it and finally caught it! brilliantly funny and clever teen comedy definitely worth watching. i thought it was some usual teenage pregnant unwed 18-year-old mum kinda chich flick, but it turned out to be a whole lot more: juno (ellen page) cracks me up incessantly with her sharp and witty dialogue, with the perfect facial expressions suited to her lines all the time. it's so entertaining, you'll be too busy laughing to catch the next funny line. the script leaves you thinking, why such a quick-witted girl like Juno would be caught in such a situation, but the thing is she takes the whole event in her stride so well, you'd be admiring her throughout, with her maturity beyond her years, at the same time you can relate to the edginess during one's adolescence years. it's a rather dark comedy, i'd say.

nothing of that crappy usual moralistic sappy crap they give you at these unwed teen mothers movies. it's unusually intelligent, something you wouldn't expect from an almost all-teen cast. i mean, the last movie you watched with an all-teen cast was probably high school musical/2 (on disney channel). the movie shows you that there is no such thing as a 'perfect' ending, which makes the whole film HUMAN, every idiosyncracy of the characters portrayed genuinely accurate.

no spoilers, i'd leave you with this one-liner from the show:

Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.

happy birthday, min!

enjoy what you deserve!

plenty of love! :)

i am back! sorry for the trouble, but you gotta do it when you gotta do it. blogger is still homeground, after all!





ken and i have been together for ages, and we're not the ones to make a big fuss out of commercialized holidays like vday and christmas, but today gave him a reason to spoil me:

my boyfriend bought me a dslite and the best thing is (yes, you're right), it's PINK! i'd never indulge myself in something like that, much i would like to, which is pretty much i think why he got me this! this is SO unexpected. but i'm rather afraid i'll get bored of it after a while, but i'll enjoy the moment as it goes - because the dog REALLY responds! *shrieks

i'm always saying he's the practical kind, not the spoiling type, but come to think of it, he's given me more than enough romantic surprises, in a practical kind of way anyhow! i am SO surprised at this gift/gesture, and feel so damn guilty for being so damn broke not to get ken anything in return! *guilt guilt guilt

to my one and only superhero (you've got a common ordinary name too :) - happy vday and really, i'm incredibly touched. :)

by the way, do watch jumper, it's great, around the world in 80 minutes! this is what i call a vday movie, because i'm darned sure both parties would enjoy it tremendously. not p.s.iloveyou which was a terribly failed attempt to portray cecilia ahern's major tearjerker. it could have been one, worth a good 4 buckets of tears, but sadly wasn't so. movies always fail to do justice to the actual novels. bottomline: watch jumper!

happy vday to all! :)