to greener pastures

i made a very hard decision, because i've had this blogspot since forever and i feel so attached to it! but like they say, 'the new doesn't come till the old ones go' (loosely translated from mandarin), so there goes,

what's the story, morning glory :)

我只想做你的公主 拥有那平凡的幸福

:)

iamsodamnbored

i've a paper at 5pm later and one tomorrow at 1pm, but i seriously cannot be bothered to study. i hate exams.

meme

If you leave a comment on this post:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you
2. I’ll challenge you to try something
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

and since min was the last one who tagged, min, here's for you:

1. you're little miss bimbo and liking it
2. stop being a **** **** and tell me how it is (hint: the joke at clarke quay that night, haha)
3. pink!
4. the way you laugh at the most impossible things, then then you forget what you were laughing about
5. you fell off the chair while laughing in class one day and still continued laughing on the floor
6. cat, specifically hello kitty (hee.)
7. how did you and hx get together?! (come to think of it, i've known you forever and i don't really know the story...hmm...)

besties! :D

i can't waittttttt to watch spidey3. grrrrr.

more than a best friend, more than a lover

he went all the way to serangoon to buy me my all-time favourite eggmilk tauhuey. and even one for mum. he dropped by esso to buy me whatever that could help keep my spirits up this whole dull period. and popped by as a surprise. i cannot be anymore grateful. and you would think, we've been together for eons and there're no more niceties anymore. but it's little things like that that keeps things going. but don't go round telling your boyfriends "why you never this this this like they all" because you know they love you in their own special way. :)

as long as i have you :)

kenneth, thank you.






nothing else matters now that i have you.
all that i need, the best i ever had. (:



every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
baby, i'm so amazed by you
-amazed, lonestar

this cannot be happening again.

little miss whiney/moody/grumpy in full swing!

well, mum's pot soups always comfort me at least more than a little.


then it's back to being Miss Moody.

i hate the exams. another 3 frigging days. i DO NOT want to study anymore.

i want to PLAY.

you know it's love when

he comes down to your place just to have dinner with you,

of course, coupled with these little treats to pull you through insane exam times,




just like that,

he made my day (:


thank you, dbb.

p/s. xnn is sorry she can't be there on your off day! tempted tempted! ANOTHER 4 DAYS. BLARGH.

the willing, destiny guides them; the unwillingly, destiny drags them







funny how some things work
maybe that's how destiny goes
you could be more than something with someone
and never more than that with her
or you could mean so much to him
but hardly enough for you
sometimes you wish for more
but they say
be careful what you wish for
'cos you just may get what you want
other times it's a big burden off your shoulders
you've never felt so good before
and then there are misintentions
coupled with misunderstandings
sometimes they get cleared up
or else it bugs you for abit
before it sort of just stuck in frozen memories
it's there but it doesn't emerge
you don't know its presence
until it resurfaces again
but like regret
it's somehow always there
i guess destiny's funny like that
it brings you round and round
you never know when's the start
or the end
but that's the surprise of life
we don't have to make things happen
they just do.













we lose some, we wreck some, we also win some :)

little miss bimbo


Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

i read this and lol-ed, because i think i'm absolutely capable of doing this. :P

she's the only one i got

happy birthday, mummy!

i love her because:

1. she understands what i don't say

2. she loves me

3. we can talk and talk and talk and talk throughout the night

4. she still loves me although i'm always yelling

5. simply because she's my mum

:)

a mother loves her children even when they least deserve to be loved.

-kate samperi

i forgot to post

happy 21st birthday to my dear hwan!

i love you.

and to my favourite yangyang who just turned 3!

lovelovelove (:

oh, oh, oh the sweetest thing

i miss having supper.
i miss sleeping.
i miss fighting.
i miss bite fights.
i miss waking early for breakfast@tanglin/tiongbahru/aljunied.
i miss putting toothpaste on your toothbrush.
i miss dvd-ing.
i miss going for spins.
i miss singing.
i miss cooking.
i miss home deliveries.
i miss movies.
i miss shopping.
i miss starbucks.
i miss long bus rides.
i miss playing "rugby".
i miss nua-ing@07143.
i miss watching cable for 3 hours straight.
i miss stealing your itunes into my imod.
i miss boiling point and room raiders and hiphop countdown.
i miss uno, pictionary and scrabble although i always lose.
i miss you.

hurry exams end quick! 3 down 2 to go!

i miss the person who gave me a doraemon magnet last night :)

今天几号？

blah!

it's always times like this when i think of you,
and wonder if you ever thought of me


i whisper your name
just to find the peace
that you always give
it's a storm inside here
i'm not in the best shape anytime near
but i whisper your name
the only word that can keep me sane
i could fall into your arms right now
and run away from this lonely town
i could walk a hundred miles
just to see you tonight
i could carry on this solitary ride
just to be with you tonight.

where's mybee?




so would i be out of line if i said
i miss you
-i miss you, incubus

so very very very very bored with books

no prizes for guessing who bought me this. hee.

it's funny how i (turning 21 this year) still get all excited with cute trinkets like that. is it just me, or all girls? i can't imagine if i were to buy the boyfriend something like a pillow with sylvester on it. but i'll be quite happy if he did present me with a little toy, or something of that sort, you know what i mean. anything counts.

overplayed songs on radio (or is it me who's tuning in to too much radio):

1. because of you - ne-yo

2. glamorous - fergie

3. candyman - christina aguilera

songs that should be played more on radio:

1. all the same - sick puppies

2. home - chris daughtry

3. ruby - kaiser chiefs

4. missing you - alison krauss

5. umbrella - rihanna

And she's everything I ever wanted

And everything I need I talk about her,

I go on and on and on

'Cause she's everything to me

-she's everything, brad paisley

out of the blue

i can never study at home. i do EVERYTHING except study. i am so stupid.

ken: you want to wash the love car together?
me: (bewildered) i thought uncle sends the car for washing one?!

i'm sure i'm so sure it was only a passing remark. i mean, look at my hands. i mean look at me, do i look capable of doing a good job washing -da the lurvve car-? ken will never want to hold a pair of rough, dry, overworked, cuticle-laden hands, will he? haha. that's why he's always the one washing up after dinner at home...since he already mops and irons and he can even wake up earlier before work just to handwash his shirt. i pale in comparison in self-discipline, terribly!

me: i want to try laserquest leh. like very fun. we ask them go play leh.

ken: aiyah you won't play one la. see how la.

i really don't like him sometimes. grr.

oh, did i mention, we went to the arcade (*gasp) last week. we were just wasting time while waiting for the movie to start. this is SO incredible, we've have never been to the arcade to play together! haha. we just stayed there playing the silly games and wasting tokens. but it was quite fun, for a change :)

and i just have to post this with reference to min's latest post about 'sleeping':

we all know it's not the size of the house, size of the room, size of the bed, not the SPACE that matters, it's WHO that shares your space, it's the COMPANY that matters.

and most of the time, you start off with sleeping WITH each other, in each other's arms, but within a minute, both of you "venture" towards your respective sides of the bed and sleep comfortably, with your own bolsters.

haha.

but still so sweet.

to kenneth:
i want an attached bathroom! just in case i forget my towel...*winks

no. 1 procrastinator

i haven't been studying! :( i am just so screwwwwwwed this semester. i have NO CLUE what my 5 modules are about. i'm just courting death. but i don't really bother (do i?) i just want my holidays to come!!! i can't watch spidey3 on its premiere day because of the stupid exams, but i've made a date on the 7th with the S.O. hee.

all things aside (read: fuck the exams), look what ken got me yesterday for the holidays:




1. a clockwork orange
2. the prince (this is not so much for my interest but his)
3. 1984

i'm doing up my reading list for the holidays already, yay! the movie list next, then the drama, then the shopping...and then the overseas trip (i hope!)

and yes, i can't watch to watch phantom in may, the gang, please remember! :)

lalala.

feeling so blessed, back in your corner, i'm back in your zone

to all my friends who's been there for me all this while. i cannot be more grateful. apparently outsiders seem to be the ones who get a clearer picture of what's around them. thank you's going out to all especially angeline, xueting, rachel, min, may, carine, stan, yiwei and everyone else. and of course, my mum, who's all knowing yet choosing to stand back and let me make my own decisions.

thank you.


Don't look no farther
Baby, I'm back
I'm here to cater to you (anything that you want me do i'll do it)
'Cause I'll be your lover (i'll be your lover)
I'll be your best friend
Tell me what I gotta do (tell me what i gotta do and i'll do it)
-baby, i'm back, akon ft. baby bash

a scissors-cut above the rest

we went for dinner at the 'authentic' scissors-cut curry rice around lavender. it was quite okay, except that we had to spend a good 20 minutes searching for a parking lot. little india area is totally danger-prone, there are cars and pedestrians everywhere, literally everywhere. not only are cars filtering out constantly but people are walking on the roads as if there is no traffic. these people are nuts, can't they LOOK? and doesn't mean pedestrians don't have to check your blind spots you know! the traffic conditions are just like geylang, i get all jittery! and you always can't seem to find a lot nearby.

and we tried thefrenchstall recently as well, it was alright, for a change. but don't think we'll go back again. and there's an italian restaurant nearby as well, stiff chilli, think we might just try it the next time. i love all these little-known places tucked away in a corner of the island, that people hardly know about, it gives you the exclusivity and privacy. but the traffic conditions are quite deterring.

and it helps a great deal when you have a partner who's almost like a walking street directory. :)

*fishie pout

Easy To Love You
Shayne Ward

Uncomplicated, you enjoy the simple things
Don’t need no make-up you just wear what nature brings
If you could see what I see you would know you’re beautiful

＊You make it easy to love you every time you smile at me
And it’s so easy to love you girl you shine so naturally
I couldn’t even count them there’s so many ways
You make it easy to love you＊
You can’t hide it, it’s there in everything you do
You don’t see it, and that’s just why I fell for you
If you could see what I see you would know you’re beautiful

You make it easy to love you
If you could see what I see you would no you’re beautiful

"all the muahs and money in the world cannot add up to the love we share"

but it'd be good if you do have all the money in the world, ken. :P

happy 42nd-month.

you know it's real love when:

1. when you eat like yourself in front of him, even if it means finishing 2 ice-cream scoops after having tze char for dinner and still buying chips home to snack

2. when you poke at your cellulite-sensitive areas in front of him, and he laughs

3. when he's the first person you look for when you're happy, sad, confused, or just looking for someone to vent your frustrations on :P

4. when he pokes fun at your thunder thighs and then hugs you

5. when he constantly says you're fat but still buys you candy and chocolate all the time

6. when you've just woken from the other end of the bed and hogged the comforter for the whole night, hair all dishevelled, with odd breath, cloudy eyes, and he still wants to give you the morning kiss

7. when you're YOURSELF in front of him, you know, together with all the weird habits that i rather not mention

8. when he's HIMSELF in front of you, you know, together with all the weird habits i cannot mention :P

9. when you feel all safe and secure just being with him

feel free to add to the list, people!


bee, thank you. :)

for always being so patient.
for tolerating my incessant mood swings. and neverending complaints.
for being there for me all these years, can you believe it, this year will be our 4th year together?! (gosh i feel so old, some people haven't been been married for this long, haha)
for always putting up with my wilfulness.
for letting me have my way all the time.
for being through all my up's and down's.
for showing me how to love.
for letting me love you.

striking resemblance?

kenneth (also known as my significant other) said i look like a stonefish. hmmm.

don't you ever marvel at how small your hands feel when you place them against your boyfriend's? their fingers are like so big and long and look like they can envelope your short stubby fingers in one grip. which then makes you feel all safe :) oh, i know this is so so so cliche, but i still must say it, now we know what the gaps between our fingers are for, haha!

and my heart goes out to all affected by the vtech shootings.

quote of the day:

every satisfied wish makes room for a new one; both are illusions; the one is known to be so, the other not yet. no attained object of desire can give lasting satisfaction, but merely a fleeting gratification.

if only every night and day could be like last night, safe and comfortable.

*ilu, mr easily-victimised (:

baby come back, have a little faith in me

i'm sorry if you're mad at me.
i'm sorry if i ever led you to doubt me.
i'm sorry if i hurt you.
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i take for granted that you're always there.
you're the one who knows me inside out and i know whatever i do can never escape your eyes.

i still remember that time, i went through your box of things after your ord, and found the notebook you wrote in during your lesson time. at the back of it were pages of what you wanted to tell me, but you never let me see it. so touched to see that, although you had no intention of letting me know.


with everything i've got,
zq, i'm sorry.


Nobody gonna love me better
I must stickwitu forever
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stickwitu
You know how to 'preciate me
I must stickwitu
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
Im must stickwitu
-stickwitu, pussycat dolls

Butterfly
Mariah Carey

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open my hands
And watch you rise

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be

So spread your wings and fly
ButterflyI have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't overflowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly

So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

hug?



click on it to see a clearer version.

so sweet (:

gives a whole new meaning to instant messenging. :)


but you will always be my boo
-my boo, usher

breach is a must-watch

i'm tired but i have to blog about this brilliant movie. i wasn't expecting much when i first saw its trailer because it seemed like one of those usual dry hollywood espionage movies. i thought the script was fantastic, full of clever yet straight-to-the-point dialogue. i was expecting to fall asleep considering that i was watching during the wee hours but i was kept awake throughout. the movie focused on the psychological elements of the individual and his counterparts and also managed to keep its audience engaged in the complexities of the human mind. it played alot on the mind and the audience was mostly all-knowing other than suspense segments. it's like a chunk of mind games being enacted on screen.

the suspense was thrilling, some sort of a cheap thrill, we go like 'omg omg omg will he see him omg' rather frequently during the show and we all heaved a huge sigh of relief later on. you get the picture. Chris Cooper is an incredible actor. it's incredibly intelligent, every line from the dialogue just oozes substance. it's the kind of movie that makes you want to think twice about the lines just delivered and then you realise how much sense it makes. it's like every line has a subtext that makes you want to go deeper into it.

and the aftermath is quite thought-provoking as well, you wonder if the spy finally realised who set him in in the end. you never really know, plus you don't know whether to sympathise with him or not, because his personality is so multi-faceted. that's what's intriguing. you know, it's the kind of movie you know from start till end what will happen ultmately, yet your attention is captured entirely because you want to know how things develop.


satisfying! a good movie or good read simply perks me up!

friday the 13th

the whirlwind comes to a stop eventually

now it's back to enjoying the breeze

hints of you still peek from my heart

bits of you are still everywhere around

but i guess i'll be better

at least i hope i'll be okay

i dig into my bags to clear what might have been you

even songs on radio bring me down memory lane

seems it's all etched inside my mind

i'll learn to survive

after all it's time to wake

finally,

for a good night's sleep.

i'm going home,

back to the place where I belong,

and where your love has always been enough for me.

-home, chris daughtry

how come

me: you think got anyone fantasized about me before?
ken: you mean sexual fantasy ah?
me: yup.
ken: pui! (bursts out in peals of laughter)

about the birthday party...

ken: what to wear ah? the theme is goth leh.
me: i dunno. go as yourself lor.

HAHAHA.

best friends at essential'obrew







the worst thing a guy can do, is make a girl fall for him, with no intention of catching her.

know why it's been raining?

seems every time I try to forget about you, my feelings pull you back in.

-circle, marque houston

giving me a little more time to be here with you

funny...and rather sweet.

quit playing games with my heart

i've got time, just to waste, if you would be my sweet escape

class 95

i can't play the songs - david gates

Looking at your picture lying on my bed
Wishing I was pulling close the real you instead
I don’t know what I said or did
But girl I’m missing you
And I like to hear my music
But there’s nothing I can listen to

Cos I can’t play the songs I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling start before the intro's halfway thru
Everyone reminds me of the things we used to do together
And I can’t go to places that I used to take you to
Cos everywhere the faces there they all look just like you
Until your heart comes back where it belongs

I can’t play the songs
Everywhere I’m drivin’ I go a different way
I can’t turn on my radio, afraid what they might play
My friends all drive me crazy cause you’re all they ask about
And why I live in silence but they just don’t understand

Without you, I can’t play the songs I used to play because of you
The lonesome feeling start before the intro's halfway thru
No one can replace you cause once I tried
And even when I try to go with someone new
You are so deep in my head
I looked into her eyes but then I say your name instead
Until your heart comes back where it belongs

I can’t play the songs
There’s nothing left that I can do cause I'm so lost in love with you
No where to turn, no place to run
You know you are my only one

I can’t play the songs you used to sing along with me
Cos everyone is always bringin’ back the memory
Until your heart is back where it belongs
I can’t play the songs (won’t you please come back to me)

nasrul asked me what happens when hope fails you, what do you lose?

lose hope i guess. gain a real sense of nothing-ness. hope seems to be the last thing, the core of emotions, the last thing an individual can hold on to, the very intrinsic value of hope being it all and at the same time, it's nothing but hope. we can't see it, it's intangible, but it's so very important for people who hold on to it. i guess when you lose hope, you lose everything, but you gain nothing-ness. how do i find hope back if i lose it? do we continue hoping that we can find hope back? which means we eventually do not lose hope? it's like a beginning, yet it's the end. and then it's neverending. and how do we know what's real? it's subjective to every individual to what's real and what's not, and hope's like reality, it's self-defined.

"you gotta hope that someone is out there for you"

lost in time

mum: why, today so good, never go out?
me: hmm, why leh?
mum: wednesday you never go dancing?
me: today tuesday leh, mummy.

i love this woman, the most wonderful woman.


Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
-kiss me, sixpence none the richer

ignorance is not always bliss

today Jane (a totally fictitious name, but real person) told me that bishan is near bukit panjang (!!!). she wanted to hitch a ride from Sally (also totally fictitious) who was going to bishan, and she could take a bus from bishan to orchard and orchard had a straight bus to bukit panjang. and Jane said it only took about 15 to 20 minutes to reach bp from orchard if she took 700 or 171. for goodness' sake, she was in NUS, clementi and she wanted to go to bishan and then to orchard to get to bukit panjang? imagine the look of disbelief on my face. and the best thing was there were 4 more people with us who had no idea where's where. no offence, but you've staying in singapore forever and you think bishan is near bp? what are you, frog in the well? bukit panjang is near bishan?! you'd need more than 20minutes even you drove!

that is the most ridiculous thing i've heard in a long while.

if it were so simple...



wish you could have listened, but you're hardly even there.

why do people expect so much knowing that they wouldn't get fair returns?

mother mudder mummy

just so random,

i love my mother. ALOT ALOT ALOT.

i love you, mummy.

somebody please come rescue me tonight

don't need your lying smiles

don't need your empty promises

don't need your false touches

don't need your fake sweet nothings

don't need you to hurt me anymore.

don't promise me always, because i know you won't stay that long

how do you do the things you do
why do you say the things you say
and act the other way
if you'd just keep lying
then i will just keep believing
for every lie you sing,
is a line
etched out in my ink
you will make me fall deeper in
and then disappear in a blink


sorry i've been so detached lately
and i can't seem to find what to say
i have all these thoughts inside my mind
all written out on paper and then crushed away
i want to talk to you
but i know you don't have enough time to hear
you won't have enough time to stay
i'll just continue thinking about this
thinking about how to let you know
yet not letting myself tell you how
and we'll all end up just the same as before.

now you know why there's past tense to the verb 'love'.

C is for cookie and that's good enough for me

sometimes me think, what is friend;

and then me say, a friend

is someone to share last cookie with

-cookie monster

got this off min's blog.

we all have our lonely moments...but how come i seem to have more of these moments than anyone else?

i want a teddy to hug like this also. boo. :(

midnight kisses
late-night conversations
cuddling together
cosy car rides
morning phone calls
day-time surprises
peeps at the window
love at the door

now, what's it all about?

girlfriend therapy and bodyshop-ping!

supposed to go birthday shopping with angel today but we ended up at thebodyshop sale *shrieks at suntec convention. we walked around everywhere aimlessly looking for presents until we saw the big banner thebodyshop and we got all excited. we spent almost the whole time there and returned with about $150 worth of bodyshop! it was rather heavy and i had to carry it all the way to vivo from suntec, and all the way around. ken wasn't driving at first but it turned out he managed to get the car and i didn't have to carry the stuff around for long! lovely!

it's quite incredible that this is the 8th year angel and i have known each other. you know you both are friends forever and best friends forever when you can sit in the bus together, feeling all so comfortable without talking. just being there. :)

don't be mad at me when i'm mad at you

it's like this wisp of smoke. in a snuff bottle. the wisp of white smoke is circling upwards in the bottle. circling and circling in a spiral, wanting to get out of the bottle but it can't because it's blocked. but so what if it gets out of the bottle? we can break the bottle but where does it go? into the air? we're struggling to get out of this bubble, but so what if we get out? where do we go?

hold me now, hold me in your arms, hold me tight

let me know i'm yours tonight

even if it's just for tonight

sun yat-sen and marx have nothing to do with me

it's crazy to admit i love marx because he is rather easy to read and his favourite concept of alienation is exactly how i'm feeling now. but sun yat-sen? only when i had to make do with some silly social thinker of asia, i'm so fucked. i don't care about democracy, nationalism and livelihood!!! my paper is UTTER RUBBISH. i wonder how my tutor will react when she reads like 1300 words of UTTER CRAP. i have no mood to do this paper (or any other paper for that matter) i'm sick of typing and staring at journal after journal i think my eyes are getting crossed i'm just sick of school.

after all what gives the tutors and lecturers the right to determine the grade of my paper? what's the surplus value of education? the school education is an obviously top-down system which i cannot defy because i am only the working class and i have to adopt a retreatist's approach in resistance (by blogging and grumbling) because the top does not find any need to deal with 'callefair' like me. i think i might be allergic to school.

suffering from PMS = Perpetual Mood Swings

blue blue oh so blue!

i am so pissed

this is ridiculous. my dad told me he lost my umbrella and i just started crying my mom had to pacify me like i was some baby. but the point was i ASKED him NOT to take my brolly out. i used it for a while and i left it in the kitchen to dry and he still conveniently brought it out while he was going to get lunch. it was (WAS) a pretty lacey polky-dotty white umbrella that i specially bought from hongkong because i liked it immediately. i specially bought it from hk!!!

the point is not my brolly (well, part of it is), the point is I ASKED HIM NOT TO TOUCH MY UMBRELLA. and he did not take me seriously. it seems trivial, huh? making a mountain out of a molehill, but you don't know how arrogant he is and even made it sound like it wasn't his fault.

i can't stand him. yucks.

fuck this whole thing i'm damn upset.

nobody really bothers anyway

blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah

blah.

there comes a point when you don't really want to make yourself clear anymore, because nobody ever listens anyway.

some things people do just don't make sense.


booblahbleh.

wish you were drunk everyday, at least it seemed like you really meant it.

the more i see the less i know the more i want to let it go

feel like crap.
feel like crap.
feel like crying.

this whole thing is so damn STUPID.
i hate myself.

i hate myself.

learn not to sweat the small stuff pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Ahhhhh.

the more i talk, the less you hear

wish i knew the words to say
to make everything between us okay
wish my clumsy attempts to make you feel better could help
wish i could retrace every wrong move i made
wish you trusted me enough to really talk to me
wish i was good enough to hear everything from your lips

crying for direction
because i lost everything
in your reflection
i'm pretending all's okay
it's alright it's okay
i'll just sleep through
and follow you in my dreams
while the rest of the world spins on
i hope you had a good day
i didn't,
because you weren't here.

give me ice cream anytime

had school from 11-730pm today which is like the longest i've ever ever stayed in school since i don't know when. thank goodness i skipped my 9am lecture, i wouldn't know how to survive otherwise. kenneth come to fetch me despite his tremendous backache *such a darling (: and we went for my long-awaited tom's palette ice cream at shaw towers! we had 4 flavours and i nearly had an overdose of ice cream. they were all nice but they were just too big cups we had to throw away some, anyhow, it was all good! i had chompchomp's beancurd as well, no other beancurd, NO other beancurd beats chompchomp's! guess what, i packed some home too! *grins

icecreammakeslynnetteahappygirl :)



sweet 'o sweet! desserts make meeeee happy!

i saw everything because i'm kaypoh


i'm in the library sitting in front of this couple, the only barrier between me and them is a short glass divider. there is much hushed whispering going on between the both of them, one moment they seem so affectionate, the next moment they are quarrelling and the girl seems to be wiping her tears, this goes on and on, with her hitting him and pushing him and he ignoring her and reprimanding her for something. i feel AWKWARD, i'm trying hard not to look but i can't help it.

the next moment he pats her head and all is well again. they go back to being affectionate. and pda-ing SO BLATANTLY (imagine: lots of pushing and hitting, laughing then pretend-ignoring, and ta-da! the quick peck on the lips) *ugh, double ugh (okay, ugh because i'm all sour grapes alright)

The head-patting is the whole point. the whole ultimate point. no girl, no girl can ever resist a guy patting her head. makes the girl feel all small and girly, and they absolutely melt.

tell me, when a guy pats a girl's head, what's the purpose? and what's he thinking? what does he think of the girl? why does he pat her head?

but when a guy pats a girl's head, all she can do is melt. like really melt. awww...

hopeless romantics. *scoffs
haha.


if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home
-glamorous, fergie

don't sweat the smallstuff don't sweat the small stuff don't sweat the small stuff don't sweat the small stuff let things go let things go donnnnnnnnn't sweat the small stuff!


AH!

don't. sweat. the. small. stuff. dum. dum.

you can't even scream without having to answer to someone.

give me a chill pill.



I AM SO ________________.

there's from-the-heart effort, there's point-scoring effort and then there's no effort

there are people who genuinely put in effort for people around them, there are people who put in effort plainly just to score points and there are people who just do not bother to make any effort. it's rather unfair to say some people do that little extra just to gain points, because we can never tell the actual intent. but we know we've all been all three at some time.

it doesn't matter if someone had the intention to, the point is no effort was made. period.

i get annoyed when my parents ask 'why so early today'? i really wonder what they want my answer to be. am i supposed to say something like erm it's because i'm such a loser nobody asked me out that's why i'm home answering your neverending questions. i think they had no intention of irritating me and totally mean well but i just need to whine.


unhappy unhappy unhappy i am so not happy ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh therapy therapy therapy i need therapy



which is better -- eight hours of mediocre time together, or two hours of mindblowing events?

xue said

love is...giving him/her the biggest piece of chicken during dinner...GIMME THE WHOLE CHICKEN.




Wahahahahaha.

we all secretly wish for something

something.

it's the process, not the outcome

i had a funfunfun time yesterday with farhan, baoyue, rach, may, sam, ken.

:)




i want to swim away but don't know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
-into the ocean, blue october

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside your head
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you, yeah ah
And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you, yeah ah
And it's the stars that lie
The stars that lie to you, yeah yeah
who are the stars
who are the stars
they lie.
-through glass, stone sour

line of the year (so far)

gary: his hair smells like cabbage!


LOL.

tagged by stan

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. i lovvvvvveeeeee men in uniform.

2. i think i'm bisexual.

3. my mood SWINGS. like really swings.

4. i put lipbalm before i sleep every night.

5. i have issues with my bust size. (read: i want bigger breasts.)

6. i think i like to think alot, or can't help but think alot.

tagged! --- zawani, carine, shimin, angeline, veron, rachel

lovely jobley

this week, two people fetched me from school! 2 days out of 3, what more can i ask for, haha, everyday?!

*beams

:)


nothing beats having someone fetch you from school after having a looooong day, not having to to lug that immensely heavy bag up the steep slope that de-regulates your mood swings and then having to chase after the bus. what's worse is when you almost reach the bus stop, the bus leaves, leaving you only helplessly cursing under your breath.

but nobody gets the princess treatment all the time

sometimes you get in this rubble, you don't know how this bloody mess came about, it seems like it's your fault and everyone's blaming you for it, and you readily take the blame then you go on this guilt trip thinking what have you done to the people around you, you think everyone's hurting because of you you try to make amends but nobody seems to care you get this helpless shroud surrounding your every action you want to say sorry but nobody seems to want to listen they don't really care and now you end up being the one hurting so much you feel like you don't even have the right to hurt they don't really care they don't want you back they don't want you near and nobody really cares.



if you, if you could return
don't let it burn, don't let it fade
i'm sure i'm not being rude
but it's just your attitude
it's tearing me apart
it's ruining everything
...were you lying all the time
was it just a game to you
-linger, cranberries


please come back soon, i'm running out of things to do to keep from missing you, where are you

there is a bodyguard sitting behind me at the back of the LT, and he looks deliciously good.

Ahhhhh! and he is dressed in pink, you know how one's tan stands out in a pink polo? You do know how one's tan stands out in a pink polo! get the picture get the picture!




just plain bored.

what more can i ask for?

me: use one word to describe me.

ken (without hesitation): fat.

happy 41st month :)

jealous

seems like everyone has been to the jewel box except me!


i want to go toooooooooooooo!

*sulks

the sweet surprise

somebody came all the way to clementi to place a bottle of herbal tea at my doorstep.

hee.

thank you, gary :)

p.s. how many bottles of liangteh do you have in your car?!

listen just listen
to the mangled silence
listen just listen
to the strangled silence,
to the cell phone
that forgot that
it should ring.

you are like a bitter pill to swallow

paper doll

oh my paper wings got ruined in the rain
there was someone with an umbrella
but i knew it wasn't you who came
my eyes are teary, my halo soaked in water
my lace fell off the white dress i made
the little white dress with grey stains
still i wouldn't want to trade
it for anything else
it's so hard to explain
to someone who left in that runaway train.
oh my paper wings got ruined in the rain

that look i saw in you
made me think twice if i did anything
to see that sadness blur your eyes
it's never easy
to keep things unsaid yet
struggling to keep sane
anything, anything
to reduce the hurt hidden behind those smiles
i could sing you a song
and look like a clown
to serenade you
to bring back my sunshine.

from rachel's blog...

"every once in a while, people step up, they rise above themselves. sometimes they surprise you, and sometimes they fall short. life is funny sometimes. it can push pretty hard. but if you look close enough, you find hope... in the words of children, in the bars of a song, and in the eyes of someone you love. and if you're lucky, i mean, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet the person you love decides to love you back."

oh i don't care about propriety


there's a test tomorrow morning and i haven't even started! i HATE studying.
i need my sugar fix.

no candy lynnette no study :(



Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't
Let's make love,
let's go somewhere they might discover us
Let's get lost in lust
We just don't care
-p.d.a, we just don't care, john legend

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
-not ready to make nice, dixie chicks

gary the (unintended) thrill-seeker:

- there was a bus uncle coming out of a stationary bus parked on the right who DIDN'T check for oncoming traffic and almost sent him flying (that was really really really a close shave, stopped breathing and my heart nearly fell out) the funny thing is the uncle was totally OBLIVIOUS to his surroundings, he didn't even realise he almost lost his dear life (he was looking to his right all the time) while we stared on in shock

i was really scared out of my wits when i saw the uncle appeared out of the bus (the bus terminal near the end of marina promenade) all of a sudden, my heart stopped the moment the car braked simultaneously, the uncle was UNAWARE of anything. then came the sense of relief that i did not just witness a "roadkill" and i could only laugh away the spine-chilling encounter but thinking about it now still gives me the shivers, haha. it sounds like a horror movie only this time i witnessed and felt it first-hand. like seriously, the uncle could have died not even knowing what happened because his back was facing us, and it's scary just thinking about it.

WHAT A CLOSE SHAVE.

first it's this then it's that. and i still do not like my dad.

i want to get out.

choosing not to talk about it doesn't discount the fact that the problem is still there.

know that awful feeling, the one where you want to cry but no tears seem to come out and you get this tight choking feeling at the back of your throat?

who will come and say it's okay, it's alright, i'm right beside?

let's run away to a place

where air tastes like the sea

where there's sun and coconut trees

where there's only you and me

bring your smile and your laugh

i'll bring my sense of humour

and we waste time together

one week after another.

takeiteasy takeiteasy takeiteasy takeiteasy takeiteasy.

i shouldn't kick a big fuss out of nothing.
i shouldn't flare up and scream as and when i like.
i shouldn't be throwing tantrums for no reason.
i shouldn't let things, the littlest of things bother me so much.
i shouldn't get so worked up for nothing.
i should TAKE IT EASY.

hush hush. oh my goodness, i really should just relax.

i hate it when people feel obliged towards me.


sometimes you feel so moody you just need someone to be there, the someone doesn't even have to be talking to you, but more often than not, there's nobody.

i want to bury myself in some hole and never surface again. at least that gives me reason to be alone, feel alone and feel lonely.



is it me?

Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett
Soundtrack of Music and Lyrics
Movie by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore

I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on
I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there

There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere
I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that
I’ll be there for you in the end


all i'm asking you
is don't write me off just yet
-don't write me off, hugh grant

turning tables

now you're lying for fun
faking the way you hold me
letting me fall for every single word you say
i'll still hear each promise you make
and hang on each one
to get by everyday
thinking you're still with me
i'm a fool i'm a fool
tonight i will try
but still it's you i can't deny


you say i've hurt you
but baby, say it again like you mean it
because when you lift up your shirt
there's no wound there's no wound
let's compare and contrast
like a dagger your words pierce right through me
baby you say i've hurt you
but how come i'm feeling the pain

it's scary how people can easily read you like an open book. things that come out from people's mouths just hit you on the spot, to the point you feel helpless. seems like alot of people can read my thoughts so simply, i think others know me far better than myself.


you're the recurring kind, the recurring kind in my mind


it's you
you kill me with uncertainty
and add on paranoia
they sum up to my little fears
it's you who make me scared
who makes me confused with every jab
now i find no more peace
yet it's funny how i still look to you for release


ken sent me this wonderful song which i absolutely love:

And miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground,
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
-set fire to the third bar, snow patrol

i'd run 200 miles to be nearer to you

and run another 200 to see you

and a last 200 miles

to fall down on your doorstep

hoping you'll be there to catch me.

you learn alot about people when you listen to songs that mean alot to them.

she put her heart to sleep
because she didn't want to be hurt too deep
sorry if she's never let you in
perhaps only tell you where's she's been
when she's had too much to drink
you say you don't care
and just let her cry
maybe you really just don't care
and should just let her cry.


a first class ticket to a night alone, and a front row seat by the phone.

and i hurt myself, by hurting you

if there's one thing i could do
to alleviate the pain you're going through
i would
if there's one thing i could say
to lessen the hurt i put you through
i would
it didn't occur to me how wrong i was
until i saw your eyes
bore right into the guilt of my soul
until i heard the anguish in your voice
like a prolonged sting
you're really getting to me

you don't realise until you feel it

you know, there are these kind of friends where you always can pick up where you left off the last time, although it might have been a long time ago. there are these kind of friends where you can talk about anything under the sun. there are these kind of friends.

sam, remember to come back!

:)




you're such a sly one with a cold cold heart
maybe leaving came easy, but it tore me apart
time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'coz it seems like forever, but i'm letting you go
-almost over you, sheena easton

the nights have been so lonely
only left with the troubles you gave me
how do you make it so simple
to say something now
and mean another later
it doesn't help when every song
on the radio reminds me of you
when each time i lie down in bed
i see passing shadows of cars
and imagine it might be you
but it can never be
because you were never really there to begin with.

all i want to do
is to seal what we have now with
a simple kiss
so that we'll never have to lose
what we pieced together
it just felt so right
to be with you all night
i don't care what they think
or what they see
i just want you to love me
for all the good times and the bad
i won't deny there've been times so sad
i just wanted to stay mad
but seeing you try so hard
made me all so touched
i just want you to love me
i just want to love you.

out of sight out of mind

been having dizzy spells and nausea recently. and stoning spells as well. sometimes i just stare into space unknowingly and i don't even know what's on my mind. like spaced out unconsciously. perhaps it's due to lack of sleep and proper sleep. i don't like it. while there are times when i just feel like doing nothing and just space out for a long long time. it can be quite therapeutic, but it just sucks when you get hit back awake into reality. the snap back into real life just SUCKS.

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. anyone agrees? i would think it's more like out of sight out of mind, into the heart of another female kind. hahaha. i think it applies more to guys, when they sort of stop seeing and meeting the girl they're fond of, they start forgetting all about her and fixate their attention on something else. or somebody else, for that matter.

people who raise your hopes are usually the ones who break them. knowing and realising are two different things. like you're already expecting something to happen, but when it really happens, it just gets to you. maybe having expectations sort of reduces or increases the real pain. maybe.


and on a lighter note,

gary was so sweet to come all the way to nus to fetch me today :)

ken brought me to theicecreamgallery at valleypoint along river valley road with david and yicheng. their bestseller is the d24durian ice cream, i could detect it the moment we stepped in, what more given my spoilt nose. i'm not a fan of durian so i tried other flavours, which were also delicious! :)




david's earl grey fig ice cream which was very distinct and special. not something you get out of an ice cream flavour.


yicheng's summer berries ice cream which is absolutely heavenly...


and mine - earl grey fig ice cream and peach melba (p.b wasn't really that heavenly but i like it because it was pink and yellow :)




dave and yc.

as usual ken didn't have any. he is not exactly an ice cream fan which makes me feel all the more spoilt that he actually bothers finding out all these dessert places just for me :)

ken made me a happy girl!

wish i could tell you
i'm done believing you
but each time you open that honey jar
i can't help but fall deeper in
you were the one who started this story
now you won't even complete this melody
and leave me staring into space,
wondering why this happened in the first place
does it help now i'm waiting,
waiting in vain
for someone who won't even stay.



and i tried and tried
to say what's on my mind,
you should have known
-listen, beyonce

Your Birthdate: October 4

You don't love lightly. For you, love is always a serious undertaking.However, you are able to love many types of people. You can bring out the best in almost anyone.Love surprises you often. You never know when or where you'll find it next. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 2 You are most compatible with people born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, and 31st of the month.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanforyourlovelifequiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

hush, hush darling

as i sit and bury my head
to hide these falling tears
i don't want to hear your voice
because what your voice tells me
is going to hurt deep
yet i'm too scared to be alone
don't bother to explain
don't add to the pain
what else helps
when the one who keeps you sane
is the one who's leaving?



don't speak
i know just what you're saying
so please stop explaining
don't tell me 'cos it hurts
-don't speak, no doubt

read this carefully


when the person you seek comfort in sorrow cause of other stuff becomes the cause, you only have yourself to seek condolence from.


how true.

for the first time in my life

i'll be spending the first night of lunar new year at mos ! my first time going clubbing during cny, partly because it's free entry for all as well. *why the hell did i go around telling people i wanted to quit clubbing...i meant i want to club less.


while flipping the mag at the hair salon...

love comes when manipulation ends, when you think of the person, rather than his reactions towards you.

if you're lucky, he'll not be the first and last thing on your mind

if i could
i'd want to memorise your smile
so that i can bring it with me wherever
i'd want to put you in my pocket
not sure where i'll be going
but at least you're with me inside

i don't know what's the price to pay
for being with you just one day
i just want to lay my head on your shoulder
plant your lips against mine

i guess i don't know what i want
because other times i wish
you would look at me
the way you did to her

let's stop thinking about tomorrow
let me just love you for a little while more.

pretense, all comforting, is only a temporary pill.

grateful

always willing to pick me up from one place to another although we're not even meeting, always willing to fetch me home after my night out in the wee hours, always being there. thank you kenneth.

love from 嫩嫩，:)

old is...

when you get to know people at clubs and then you ask them how old are they...they turn out to be a good 2 years younger...girls and boys. OUCH.

happy wellentine day

Q1. Do you have a valentine?
- i think so.

Q2. Do u want a valentine ?
- i think so. can i have a few, just in case?

Q3. What if no one asked u out on Valentine's day ?
- i don't know. have my own pity party with other self-pity wallowers. anyone interested?

4. What if ur favourite guy/girl that u've been crushed on for years asked uout on Valentine's day?
- i'd think it's April Fool's instead.

Q5. If yes, what if u already have another date that u suddenly remember on that same day ?
- well, i can always make time for both! :)

Q6. What if ur bf/gf cannot go out with u on valentine's day ?
- refer to qn 3 answer.

Q7. What will u do if u saw ur your bf/gf going out with another person on valentine's day instead of u?
-i'd make sure he sees me with another person as well...

Q8. Your parents locked you up in your room for the whole day at valentine'sday. You're all alone. How will you feel?
- puzzled. surely they don't feed and clothe me for the rest of their lives?

Q9. Your parents insist of bringing you out on valentines day for the whole day and you can't spend the day with your lover, what will you do?
-2 options. 1, escape. 2, leave home.

Q10. Where will you wish to have your valentine's day celebrated at?
- somewhere nice and quiet and secluded. with absolutely nobody but us. oh yes, preferably with aircon and no mozzies as well.

happy wellentine's day!

happy 21st birthday min!

lots of xoxo. i loveeee you.

have a blast later! :)


of course, happy v-day to all!