victimised

why do i constantly and repeatedly allow me such to fall victim to circumstances?
and then i get soaked up in hating myself, for being such a fool.
and when i'm rattling on now, i'm again subject to victimization of myself.

oh my, i hate myself.

the only good is virtue, and virtue in its very essence is self-control, and now i'm succumbing to circumstances. i allow myself to.


i want to slap myself dead.

if i go hide in the bin now, do you think my mom will notice me or she'd just throw me out together with the waste?

ARGH.

frivolity

is there some degree of frivolity in everyone?
frivolity undermines truth.

cynical and bitter.


urgh.


moody.
i hate exams.
i hate people too.
some people. :(

like those who make you sad.

others make you laugh, when you don't even want to smile :)

are hugs free?

heh. girls like to fantasize.

korean tearjerker



watch this! (ken actually found this for me! -dumbfounded-) but there are no subtitles, anyhow, you'll all still get it. i think he dreamt that his girlfriend died but in real life, he manages to save her and die in her place instead. oppa!
sappy, mawkish, but i like! boohoo.

nice nice nice! sob.

thinking back

i remember during the period when we were studying for the a's, ken bought me an enormous heap of japanese confectionery because i couldn't study without candy. haha.

mangzhang queen needs her sugar fix now.

roar.


when you really want to spend your time with this person, and you don't know why, that's when you know you're in love.

doh dum.




dum dee dee dum.

don't want to study.

roar.

tralalala.

you're like a fairytale, you make all the girls fall for it.

he said he'll be there for you,
but never said he'll be here with you.


and they were only supposed to have some fun.

for the moments you both got caught in each other's glances

did it mean the same to him as it did for you?

1 paper down, 3 to go! 1 day gone, 10 days to go! which means 2 weekends of pure stale boredom.

B.O.R.I.N.G! ):

yesterday i was walking
along the streets
i saw a couple holding hands
laughing and playing
and it all hit me,
we'll probably not do
anything like it
no walks along the beaches
no unguarded smiles
no plastic rings around the fingers
only,
stolen moments that leave
all too quickly.

if this is all a lie,
keep on lying,
i don't want to know that you
never really liked me.

kiss me with your lies, i'll believe you.

quick, gimme a magic wand! (:

how do you differentiate a white lie from a lie?

isn't a white lie still a lie? we all hate being lied to. and is omitting certain facts from a truth considered lying?



i think i suck at being a girlfriend and a daughter. i'm sorry for all the mindless tantrums and unreasonable outbursts. wonder how i always manage to do it, flare up for no reason at the ones i love and then regret it later. i don't ever want to take anyone for granted. never.

moody moody moody.

i'm sorry.

i'm a big moron.

i have a sore throat that hurts even when i yawn. ouch.

somebody told me: "stop the F word". F-u-c-k.

exams are in a FEW days and i am not prepared at all. the thing is: i don't care.

i find it hard to believe people, and i don't expect others to believe me either.


and maybe you're going to be the one who saves me
and after all, you're my wonderwall...

You know he loves you
when someone else
makes you laugh
but he smiles for the
simple fact that you're laughing.

don't dismiss the presence of people who love you,

don't pretend you can't see the effort they put in for loving you

don't hide just because there's love when you least expect it

but don't talk about love when you aren't sure.

they say, sometimes people build walls just to see if anyone cares enough to break them down. but what happens when the wall is broken, aren't you afraid of what's beyond?

where would we go now from here?

lynnette

wants

to

quit

school.


life is B.O.R.I.N.G!

alcohol reduces inhibition.
and we all have this insatiable thirst for alcohol.
because reality constrains us.

bottomline: lynnette is a wimp!

something real



i have my friends
everyone i could talk to
i'm not lacking material items
i have all the love i can get
yet seems there's still something lacking
there's someone special out there
just the one for me
but i just to be more than sure
that it's the real me he sees
is that the real me he loves
in the special way i want
just reach for me
and tell me you're sure
then we'll never wake up alone anymore.

my life's like a small town bus
cruising along the narrow roads
lovers are like passengers
they board and they alight
they don't really remember the bus
it's just one of the many buses
but they forget
in a small town
only one bus functions.

what you say only matters to you, it's what you do to the people you love that really matters.

i'm blind and i'm foolish
just like a girl can be
so kiss me with your lies
and promise me the world
play with my hair
hold my hand
and i'll gladly go
wherever you bring me to.








i need to catch my breath, but i left it on your lips.

whether it's wrong or right

i don't want to fight

i'm not asking to be in your heart

you don't have to love me all your life

i don't wish for you to always be there

you don't even have to love me at all

i'm just asking

if there's any way

i can stay in your life.

between us

there's this grey line

between us

there's this grey space

between us

there's this grey cloud

there shouldn't be any problem

any grey, black or white

because since you entered my world

all i see should be all colours

just you and me,

there should be just you and me.

for stanley:

lynnie is always your angel, remember?

and yes, i will try not to be such a bitch, as long as YIU don't disappear. again.


p.s. your exams are done, so update your ballyhoos!



you don't have to move closer, i'm here with you already.

read the lyrics! sad sad sad.

:(

landon pigg's "can't let go"

well, you're the closest thing I have
to bring up in a conversation
about a love that didn't last
but I could never call you mine
'cause I could never call myself yours
and if we were really meant to be
well then we justify destiny
it's not that our love died
just never really bloomed

well I can't let go
no, I can't let go of you
you're holding me back without even trying to
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
without lifting a finger
you're holding me back

and then we saw our paths diverge
and I guess I felt okay about it
until you got with another man
and then I couldn't understand
why it bothered me so
how we didn't die, we just
never had a chance to grow

I can't let go
no, I can't let go of you
you're holding me back without even trying to
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
without lifting a finger
you're holding me back

and it might not make much sense
to you or any of my friends
but somehow still, you affect the things I do
and you can't lose what you never had
I don't understand why I feel sad
everytime I see you out with someone new

I can't let go
no, I can't let go
no, I can't let go of you
I can't let gono, I can't let go of you
you're holding me back without even trying to
I can't let goI can't move on from the past
without lifting a finger you're holding me back
I can't let gono, I can't let go of you
you're holding me back
without even trying toI can't let go
I can't move on from the past..

i just realised

that i'm a very very shallow person. i seek comfort in material things.

i'm going shopping and i'm spending, i don't care what i buy how much i spend! i'm just going to be cool about it and squander away my mother's money. after all, i only live once. (:

retail therapy here i come!

if it's not fun, why do it? (:

he'll disappear as suddenly as he appeared

things go as fast as things come
don't do this
don't put my hand into yours
because i'm afraid
i won't be able to go
don't say you'd love me for the rest of your life
when you'd eventually leave

you let your guard down too fast, too easily

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate myself. i stoned in front of the computer for hours on end yesterday night. i was supposed to START doing my 2000-word essay but i got nothing (nothing!) written. i just stared at the computer, stared and stared, waiting for inspiration to find me, but it didn't find me and i didn't reach it. i hate myself. DUMB Lynnette.

i might consider saving all the sweet things you said, so i can reminsce when you're gone.

if you're at the end,
i'd run miles just to reach you
if you're sitting there,
i'd just stop and stare
if you're walking off,
i'll follow you right behind
if you're slowing down,
i'll match your speed
but if you're leaving,
tell me how to make you stay.

sometimes i wonder if i carry my jokes too far, it kind of hurts people. sorry.

public secrecy - the gaze

don't you just hate it when you find the driver (whoever's driving) looking at you through the rear-view mirror?

it's like in the entire car only you and him share the moment of contact. he makes sure you know he's looking before he shifts his eyes back on the road. and the fixated look gets on my nerves.

quote of the day and definitely some good food for thought!

it's all a matter of perception.

get this!

sorry

i only meant to let it appear as a game
because i'm so insecure
that's my only cover to protect
myself from being scarred
i'm sorry but i can't think of what else
to say to you
i'm sorry if my words seem harsh
i don't really mean it
you're different i hope
still i can't trust no one
you're getting too close for comfort
and that frightens me.