as pleased as punch. 

i can't believe i scratched myself with my nails. (yes i look, sound and act like a bitch, oh no, i mean a dog) i was trying to get out of my cross-legged position and in an attempt to avoid hitting the speakers under the table, i scratched my other leg. the nails are so long that the uppermost skin is torn. actually i can't see how long they are 'cos they are painted. you know what i mean? not very painful but maybe it's my depressive and morbid alter ego trying to self-abuse. hahahahaha. maybe my evil twin should just pull out the nails and swallow them. i wonder how thefaceshop pink nail polish tastes like. and i wonder why sometimes i love and hate myself.
tsk tsk.

'that's what friends are for' is playing on angel's blog. the song gives me goosebumps and makes me feel like crying. so nostalgic. feel like going kbox but am really broke. haha. i want to go overseas during july and ought to save up now. i swear that if we're going, i'm going to survive on bread and water and use up every single cent in hongkong! just the thought of hk can give me an orgasm! oh my gosh, i absolutely absolutely love travelling! especially for shopping. hahahahahahahaha. i really really hope our plans will NOT fall through. actually, i'm more excited about travelling with ken, that's my biggest wish now (apart from my childhood dream of becoming rich and famous). but i got this feeling things will not go as smoothly...:( that's why i hate planning ahead because there is plenty of room for disappointment. i actually dreamt of taipei 3 times after i returned from my trip. i am such a shopping-addict! of course, only overseas...i want to go bangkok too but i'd rather go with my mom 'cos i'll feel safer with her. haha. ah-yee says she'll be going aussie end of this year and she wants mom and i to come along! can u imagine if i go hk during july, then aussie eoy, i would have travelled 4 times in a year! gosh, time of my life.

since everyone has a wishlist now...

lynnette's wish list
1. travel with ken
2. travel
3. travel
4. to go a total of 4 places this year (hk, taipei, kl, aussie)
5. travel
6. to travel at least 6 times this year (hk, tp, hk, kl, aussie)
7. travel some more
8. travel some more
i only have 8 items on my list.

oh. i was day-dreaming. =(

weekend whizzed by. busy bringing my ah-yees and granny around. regretted not taking pictures with them. when they come, i always get new clothes. haha. madagascar was quite funny but only alright. monster-in-law today was also just only alright. i realise i have crystal jade almost every week. ajisen and crystal jade i must be a noodle-lover. haha. i am just a carbo-sucker. i really want to travel with ken, in fact i am quite dying to do so, but i think chances are quite slim. maybe we'll just end up bbq-ing in some chalet. i think i'm going to stay home from tomorrow onwards, or stay home more because my parents are rather displeased at the fact that i've been staying out late recently. the whole of last week i only returned home after twelve and i guess my parents are not happy. my mom actually asked me where i was going and who was i out with today. she hardly ever questions so i guess i might have been abit too much of late. but then i try to justify myself 'cos i had to accompany my relatives and of course i met up with ken at night. i am really quite a cinderella and i'm not enjoying such 'royalty' status. sometimes i wished i lived alone (or with him! :), but minus the washing, cleaning and chores.

each time i go through an emotional period, the first person i think of is you. i actually can seek solace in you, you give me the most reassuring hug, the most comforting smile. if i cry in your arms, it's because i'm relieved that you're by my side once again. you always let me cry it all out, and never question why. you don't know how thankful i am for you.

and you always ask me why i fell in love with you. each time i see you, i fall in love with you again. you said i'm everything that matters to you. but you're the only one who matters to me.

:)

and i miss the girls. i miss the letter-writing days alot.

:(

in may's words:

hail to booze!

she is so cute sometimes. hahahaha.

lao shu ai da mi is playing on radio now. while i mentioned i didn't quite like the song, i do now. haha. the lyrics are pretty sweet. like innocent love. and i really adore kenneth. yesterday we were sitting outside the control station, in front of the macdonalds kiosk, having mochi icecream. we were just choosing and picking what flavour how many to eat then the macdonalds aunty kim lian asked what was that. haha. we explained to her it's like dumpling ice cream and even offered her. but she declined saying she will get it from ntuc after work. haha.


all for you ken, just all for you. :)

fuming mad at saf's ways of handling things. extremely inefficient and brainless. the boy got 2 days medical leave from his gp because he suddenly came down with hives. and mind you, hives can be life-threatening. and the first officer told him he can stay home and return 2 days later. then at night (it was like 9 or 10) his other officer told him to go back straight away to endorse his mc. then the next morning he had to queue to see saf's doctor at the medical centre. excuse me, you're damn ill and you still have to go back camp to bloody endorse the mc and queue to see saf's doctor also? is the local private doctor not as reliable as the army's? THE OVERALL IC ONLY SEES THE SAF MC AS VALID. WHAT RUBBISH IS THIS?! is the gp's mc any less genuine? he got 2 days mc from his doctor and he still has to man the office because the saf only recognises the saf mc?! whatever happened to the men's rights? on top of their ineffective methods, why do they make sick people go through so many procedures when sick people are supposed to rest? what are mcs for anyway? they make the patient travel up and down, make them see the medic again, give a different set of medication (now what are they supposed to do with 2 types of medication), demand that the men carry out light duties (he is on medical leave excuse me!) just because the gp's mc is not recognised by the saf! this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard. i am extremely annoyed with the lack of productivity in this useless system. why do they still make ill men do so many time-wasting things when their bodies are already not in top condition? why did the saf doctor give calamine lotion for hives, for goodness' sake! it is HIVES not chicken pox! i have now and then suffered from hives, i am an expert on this and i know my doctors have never given me calamine lotion! do they deprive the men of their rights by not acknowledging their medical certificates? how is this group of incompetent and amateurish officers going to protect the country? what is the saf thinking now? they may be in tip-top physical condition to defend the place but definitely lack the emotional strength to WANT to protect the people. a lack of willingness results when inefficient systems are in place. maybe i am generalising because of just the few people, but i am extremely hot under the collar now!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

i woke up very early today. my mind is very occupied. i have decisions to make. i am so apprehensive about things happening in time to come. many things.
a comforting thought: i get to see you later. :)

the tuition agency called me for a job 5 times week for a 4-year-old kid. i guess all they wanted was a babysitter. of course it didn't go through. i am not so hardworking and what's more, it's at night. had dinner with the boy last night at ajisen again. we are ajisen-lovers. the computer is damn screwed up. i miss the boy more 'cos we won't get to meet for the weekend. only on monday because the army likes to rob people's time. he sang 'lao-shu-ai-da-mi' to me which sounded so cute. but i don't really fancy the song 'cos it is too lovey-cute. i mean something like mushy, something i might have liked in my younger years (like how old am i) but not now. too saccharine-sweet. he is so determined to get marksmanship for range this saturday i just love this attitude. reminds me of his vice-captaincy during rugby days. i like a man who knows what he wants and strives to get it. very charismatic.

i tell you, really it was so much fun yesterday. my mind keeps playing and replaying last night. but clubbing is so expensive and unhealthy (for that matter, dancing is good exercise :). i almost slept in the washroom if not for carine with me. i was so sleepy until we went dancing. i seriously could have fallen asleep on carine's lap. one more time.

our first time at newasiabar. such a good place. 

happy 19th, carine. 

cheese. 

so vainpots. 

carine was wondering what were we doing in the dressing room... 

i don't know what's wrong with blogger. looks totally distorted. or is it my pc?
happy 19th, carine!
hope you'll have as much fun today as we had last night!

yesterday was marche with the birthday girl, then kbox at cine (again), then drinks at newasiabar and then finally, finale! my goodness. mj yesterday was fantastic. i don't know if we were excited or high or what. we danced non-stop for more than 3 hours. so tiring but was so much so much fun. i was thinking it'd be boring with only 3 girls but turned out otherwise. we could have danced till daylight. of course we had our favourite lamborghini. next wednesday again? addicted, although my knees are weak from dancing.
happy happy happy.
again again again.

'oh...sweet child of mine...!'

missing korkor alot. looking at everything reminds me of him. he designed the blog together with me. that explains the rather forlorn outlook and of course i can't come out with such pensive words. we used to bake cookies together but i wish i had gone for a movie with him. he loved movies. he loved me.

korkor, miss you so much. so much. so much. so much. so much. so much. so much. so much. so much. so much. so much.

when your mind becomes obessed with something,
you will find that thing everywhere.

i found this somewhere in the pc. 

all of a sudden i miss him so much. i just want nobody but him by my side. and things always do not go my way. ken asked me not to go nus this saturday and i straightaway agreed. nothing beats spending some time with the angel. there's really no one quite like him. he makes me angry so easily yet i can't stay mad at him for long. but seriously, reality is nothing quite like drama serials. i love stairway to heaven because it is unrealistic and indulging. haha.
too bad i had to leave for dinner. i would have enjoyed watching it more. we all cried our eyes out, especially rachel. haha. i desperately want to travel again!

you may not have the best looks, you may not own the most brains, you may not be the wealthiest.
but you have the best smile, the most street-savvy ways and really, you are my blessing.
you are so special. to me.

overwhelmed by kwonsangwoo in ximending. 

lynnette and her fave heartthrob. 

that girl karen from the modelling agency called up again and i told her again that i am working (!!!) and will not be able to make it for any appointments. feels good rejecting someone who speaks in such a condescending tone if i see her i will shoot daggers into her eyes. yes the whole main point was 'modelling agency'. yes.

i want to accumulate good karma this life so that i'll get to be a supermodel in my next.
-repeats-

i feel like earning easy money to get clothes for school. aw says i can get men to touch me for cash but men prolly wouldn't want me. but still, anyone? :)

i really don't feel like blogging because it's bloody self-centred.
but i just want to type something. so there goes:

hee.

the boy is having his ippt today and he thinks he is so not going to make it. i just hope he's not getting confined. i will really swear the airforce down. my zits are killing me, i'm gaining weight, i feel like killing the good-looking people out there. sorry i'm not in the clubbing mood, darlings, enjoy yourselves. i just can't wait to see you people next week. :)

what fits like a glove
are my hands held onto yours
what sounds like happiness
is when i hear your laugh
what feels like love
are the both of us together.

ken's nights out was spent at kap shopping for snacks for him to bring in camp. like for 2 hours but we didn't get many things. we like to go supermarket shopping so much. i like to go out with him so much. i was having this really bad leaking nose last night which i think lead to this nightmare. i dreamt that we had to finish our final exams before going to uni i was so damn scared. such a dumb nightmare nearly freaked me out. i pray that he doesn't get confined tomorrow so we can meet again! just like first dates...:)

grocery shopping at kap for 2 hours. 

finally clicked on the choice of school 2 nights ago. actually, i didn't really make any choice, i never thought of going ntu in the first place anyway. i'm glad about this but at the same time, wishing that ken will get a place too. i'm so afraid we'll drift from each other once i start school, and things will turn sour. i mean, not that i'm paranoid, but things like that often happen right? i am so going to make the effort not to lose him 'cos i can't imagine life without this boy. i am going to be a big girl now (like only now.) haha. don't feel like going for orientation, but mom and ken say i'm being very anti-social. but we'll see how things go and i'm also bothered by the fact that we have to go for the medical check-up. what if i have some diabetes or some kidney disease? i can't watch to watch stairway to heaven with the 2 girls. so much fun watching with them, much better with people than alone! we suddenly go 'aiyah!' then we go 'ohhhh!' or else we start 'piece of shit. so ugly.' and most importantly 'wahhh! so handsome!'. look at how rachel gets off her seat! veron, we should film our actions down. haha. so cute.

things like love can be so fragile. today it's 'i-love-you's and the day after it's 'we-are-through's. i don't know what will happen to ken and i in time to come. but i guess we'll just hold on for the moment. for the past one and the half years, nothing really serious has really come between us and i'm glad about that. we have had our ups and downs but nothing really that we couldn't overcome. for now, i just love him alot because he pouts in the most adorable way and makes me angry in the simplest manner. i must admit i am rather bad-tempered and i do get on his nerves at times. perhaps we haven't been together for very long to get sick of each other, haha. i love the way we can't wait to see each other again when he goes into camp. (wednesday nights out!) because that's how love is so simple. i hope things don't ever get complicated ever, i can't lose this gem. perhaps i'll say something different next time i don't know what will happen in future, but i'm very hopeful.

ken,
i love you alot. and i can't replace anything or anyone for you. you're my boyfriend, my partner, my listener, and most importantly my best friend. thank you. :)
-feifei.

icecreamates! 

bliss. 

hope i can see ken later! gosh, i miss him so so so much.
chubby chubbs, i wish we can strike the lottery or jackpot someday so we won't have to work ever in our lifetimes and just have fun all the way! but of course, that wouldn't happen because we both don't gamble. so we'll just fill in all the lucky draw coupons in shopping malls and hope we'll get many prizes. haha. i love my chubby boy.
:)

love handles around the waist. getting far too big.
i hate being so fat like porky.
i hate having no money like penniless.
i hate having bad skin like miss pimply.
i hate life which is a bitch.
NO MONEY to buy clothes, repair pc, get notebook, reduce fats, cure pimples, buy clothes, buy presents, buy some more clothes (including shoes, accessories, bags, etc), to live basically.

HAIYAH.
having no money rocks.
i think i'm going to puke. my chest is sore. my butt is enormous. my waist is a measuring tape. my arms are as big as my calves. my nails are suffering being unpainted. my hair is too long anf dry with split ends. and i'm going to vomit anytime.

urgh.

my pc died on me. the entire desktop is now blank. except for kwon sang woo's handsome face (for once i'm not very pleased at just looking at this pretty boy). sooner or later i can't be able to use this dump of a computer anymore.

having no money just sucks.

mom and me in taipei. 

taipei was fun alot of eating and shopping. but weather was as hot as singapore. i even got sunburnt at yehliu. things are rather expensive, not as cheap as hongkong (i prefer hongkong). taipei has many nice clothes for girls, especially in 'wu fen pu' - a wholesale clothes market. and for your info, very few guy stuff to get. i had to walk alot and when it rained, i couldn't walk my night markets! i didn't really get many things, but more than hongkong. we spent almost 1500 or 2000 over there. things are really quite expensive. i enjoyed myself alot. really hope to tour somewhere else (like bangkok!) end of this year. how i wish ken can go holidaying with me.

pictures up: http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2127192700

at yehliu, where the attraction is the many odd geological sandstone sculptures.