birthday pictures are up:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2127496143
i had an extremely good day.
in such a long time.
old friends are the best friends.
:)))))
wheeee.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
it has been ages since i woke up at 645am. haha. i had this terrible tummyache and couldn't fall back to sleep. i felt hungry and cooked myself some campbell's. wasn't quite yummy because ms. fantastic cook added a tad too much water. for many nights, i haven't been able to fall asleep. there isn't anything quite bothering me, i wouldn't want either. it's just that everyone's asleep and i'm still numb in bed from thinking why the hell i can't sleep. i wonder what has life got in store for me. i am not someone who will strive for something (apart from loverboys) because in the first place, i never set any goals. and i don't have any. well, if you count dreaming of marrying a rich man and being a tai-tai all day long a goal, then that's my ultimate goal. serious. i'm not joking. i really don't want to work if i don't have to, but i don't mind having a shop, just sitting around. i don't have any drive in me. and i really want to just hold hands with my mom every weekend going shopping, then return home to my boyfriend and dog. actually, i know my dad will be so against this i think, i can't wait to co-habit with my future boyfriend(s). i hate to work for someone else. i like children alot but i won't hesitate to throw my kid away if he or she makes too much noise. i told mom this and she said i was crazy, how can i do that. i can. i hate noisy kids. they make too much noise for their own good. irritating kids should have muzzles.
knowing glances
meeting eyes
fleeting thoughts and lingering stares
spend waking moments thinking of you
only to invite your ignorance
knowing glances
meeting eyes
fleeting thoughts and lingering stares
spend waking moments thinking of you
only to invite your ignorance
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
this place is too small for any excitement.
so easy to get jaded with this country because there are so few things to see, buy and feel.
nothing worth a second look, nothing exciting, nothing worth the money, basically nothing.
singapore is DULL.
no wonder people are flying away to more interesting places.
tee-hee.
when uneasiness fills the night
those are secrets we fight throughout the ride
i can't look you in the eye
for you'll just see through the lie
when i go around searching
you turn your back on me
so simply.
you realise you stop playing games at some point, because no one wants to befriend you anymore. you realise you stop running at some point, because there's nothing to look forward to anymore. you realise you stop thinking at some point, because no one bothers anymore.
so easy to get jaded with this country because there are so few things to see, buy and feel.
nothing worth a second look, nothing exciting, nothing worth the money, basically nothing.
singapore is DULL.
no wonder people are flying away to more interesting places.
tee-hee.
when uneasiness fills the night
those are secrets we fight throughout the ride
i can't look you in the eye
for you'll just see through the lie
when i go around searching
you turn your back on me
so simply.
you realise you stop playing games at some point, because no one wants to befriend you anymore. you realise you stop running at some point, because there's nothing to look forward to anymore. you realise you stop thinking at some point, because no one bothers anymore.
Monday, April 25, 2005
last few days were extremely fast and busy. although i was terribly sick.
miraculously fever went down the next morning after zouk (now you know where to go if you've got a fever haha).
zouk was quite fun but basically could have been ALOT more fun if yours truly wasn't a sick bird. i really sucked that night and was so self-conscious. and extremely moody. and to carine and sam i believed my tone was rather harsh on the phone and i am terribly apologetic. i can't stand scratch music. i think all thought the music was horrid that night except carine. wait till i return we'll go for wednesdays. lucky there were invites. haha.
sunday was double checking for travel stuff and collecting air tickets. didn't get maps though. thought me and mom will just explore taipei. i am so worried i don't know where to shop and waste alot of time finding this and that place. i'm not exactly proficient in mandarin you know. i'd rather hk's road signs really. i MUST be alert and sharp-eyed to spot all the bargains and bring the entire shihlin back!!! still not very excited. think i am afraid i can't find anything nice!
veronica and lynnette are currently big fans of bakerzin. i swear we two are going to try every cake and every dessert available there! carine must be so impressed at our sugar mouths. i doubt carine has seen 4 types of cakes in front of 2 girls. like animals devouring food. haha. somemore we just finished one dessert. all these is making me hungry again. bakersin has fantastic vanilla ice cream (mind you i am not exactly a vanilla fan but really rocks)!
:) 2 happy girls with new shopping finds, 2 happy girls with new dessert place (can be happier) and 3 happy little babies. :)
miraculously fever went down the next morning after zouk (now you know where to go if you've got a fever haha).
zouk was quite fun but basically could have been ALOT more fun if yours truly wasn't a sick bird. i really sucked that night and was so self-conscious. and extremely moody. and to carine and sam i believed my tone was rather harsh on the phone and i am terribly apologetic. i can't stand scratch music. i think all thought the music was horrid that night except carine. wait till i return we'll go for wednesdays. lucky there were invites. haha.
sunday was double checking for travel stuff and collecting air tickets. didn't get maps though. thought me and mom will just explore taipei. i am so worried i don't know where to shop and waste alot of time finding this and that place. i'm not exactly proficient in mandarin you know. i'd rather hk's road signs really. i MUST be alert and sharp-eyed to spot all the bargains and bring the entire shihlin back!!! still not very excited. think i am afraid i can't find anything nice!
veronica and lynnette are currently big fans of bakerzin. i swear we two are going to try every cake and every dessert available there! carine must be so impressed at our sugar mouths. i doubt carine has seen 4 types of cakes in front of 2 girls. like animals devouring food. haha. somemore we just finished one dessert. all these is making me hungry again. bakersin has fantastic vanilla ice cream (mind you i am not exactly a vanilla fan but really rocks)!
:) 2 happy girls with new shopping finds, 2 happy girls with new dessert place (can be happier) and 3 happy little babies. :)
Friday, April 22, 2005
of all times, of all days, of my entire fucking life, i have to fall sick TODAY.
22nd april 2005. HELLO?!
bad bad bad throat, my nose is a running tap, i think a fever will arriving today or tomorrow.
i was only thinking a few days back, i haven't fell sick since i quit citibank and poof!
have been popping lozenges since last night i hope there won't be any overdoses.
have forbidden myself from any pills because i want to enjoy tonight (moans).
i want to sleep the sore throat away but i can't. you know the feeling when you're running a cold? your damned nose drips drips drips like a spoilt tap and you can't have enough tissues.
you feel lethargic but you can't sleep?
you want to eat but your throat hurts like hell and in the end your appetite is gone.
and the worst, it happens when you want to play tonight.
life is really cruel to you.
OF ALL DAYS TODAY?!!!
i feel like crushing myself to bread crumbs...but then again, maybe birds don't want sick food.
22nd april 2005. HELLO?!
bad bad bad throat, my nose is a running tap, i think a fever will arriving today or tomorrow.
i was only thinking a few days back, i haven't fell sick since i quit citibank and poof!
have been popping lozenges since last night i hope there won't be any overdoses.
have forbidden myself from any pills because i want to enjoy tonight (moans).
i want to sleep the sore throat away but i can't. you know the feeling when you're running a cold? your damned nose drips drips drips like a spoilt tap and you can't have enough tissues.
you feel lethargic but you can't sleep?
you want to eat but your throat hurts like hell and in the end your appetite is gone.
and the worst, it happens when you want to play tonight.
life is really cruel to you.
OF ALL DAYS TODAY?!!!
i feel like crushing myself to bread crumbs...but then again, maybe birds don't want sick food.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
kwon sang woo kicks butt! can't forget the scene where he sobbed outside the cafe.
oh my gosh. touches my heart everytime i watch it. it is rather late now i cannot sleep.
jess: where do broken hearts go? can they find their way home?
i don't know. broken hearts have no homes.
jess: broken hearts don't just want any hand... ....
do broken hearts completely heal?
oh my gosh. touches my heart everytime i watch it. it is rather late now i cannot sleep.
jess: where do broken hearts go? can they find their way home?
i don't know. broken hearts have no homes.
jess: broken hearts don't just want any hand... ....
do broken hearts completely heal?
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
there comes a point when you become oblivious to your surroundings. you no longer care what others think of you, although you know that middle-aged uncles and aunties are looking at you, thinking to themselves 'is she mad?', and school girls are whispering to one another about your sloppy attire and unkempt hair. you walk very slowly and aimlessly and take no notice of everything around you. you don't talk much and the only thing you hear is your slippers dragging. the bell on the indian man's bicycle jingles a few times but he eventually cycles out of your path thinking that you must be hard of hearing.
whatever happened to the life in me?
in fact, all i was capable of doing was steal second (and third) glances at the cute swimming coach at the pool. ooh. :)
whatever happened to the life in me?
in fact, all i was capable of doing was steal second (and third) glances at the cute swimming coach at the pool. ooh. :)
You scored as Sybil. Congradulations! You are a mental patient! I hope you are a happy little mental patient. You look cute in that straight jacket. No, really!
Which Living Dead Doll would you be? created with QuizFarm.com |
i was very bored.
telepotmusik
smile
Had you there in the palm of my hand.
Saw that smile you give that girl.
Haven't seen that smile such a long time.
Don't do this to me, again.
I watched you laugh when you walked out through door,
Couldn't save you from yourself.
Haven't seen that smile for such a long while.
Don't do this to me again.
So I went out,to find out what I was looking for.
Found the key, key to our door.
It's all of your lies.
Still I can't forget.
Don't do this to me again.
Had you there in the palm of my hand.
Saw that smile you give that girl.
Haven't seen that smile such a long time.
Don't do this to me again.
Don't do this to me...again.
smile
Had you there in the palm of my hand.
Saw that smile you give that girl.
Haven't seen that smile such a long time.
Don't do this to me, again.
I watched you laugh when you walked out through door,
Couldn't save you from yourself.
Haven't seen that smile for such a long while.
Don't do this to me again.
So I went out,to find out what I was looking for.
Found the key, key to our door.
It's all of your lies.
Still I can't forget.
Don't do this to me again.
Had you there in the palm of my hand.
Saw that smile you give that girl.
Haven't seen that smile such a long time.
Don't do this to me again.
Don't do this to me...again.
angeline, i am very sorry to leave you halfway just to meet ken. i'm so glad you are the ever understanding best friend. =) are you reading? haha.
ken had tonight off so as the dutiful girlfriend i rushed to northpoint (gasp! spot ken and lyn at a heartland mall...besides lot 1! double gasp!) the mall was quite impossible so we went over to the boy's place after dinner. poor boy is all sunburnt and aching i really wish i could give a massage. but really, i'd rather pay for massage for 2 at kenko. i hope he won't be confined this weekend because i am going to be so damn darned guilty for the labour day long weekend! i almost fell asleep when uncle sent me home, if i did it will be EMBARRASSMENT in caps. am dying to see him again. i want to have sushi buffet. with anyone and everyone.
and i actually still can't get over the b4. it's like prolonged grief.
pendulum in the grandfather's clock
swings back and forth
like emotions sway here and there
like problems hide and arise
they never really go away.
i'm selfish, to think of you day and night, keeping you all to myself.
ken had tonight off so as the dutiful girlfriend i rushed to northpoint (gasp! spot ken and lyn at a heartland mall...besides lot 1! double gasp!) the mall was quite impossible so we went over to the boy's place after dinner. poor boy is all sunburnt and aching i really wish i could give a massage. but really, i'd rather pay for massage for 2 at kenko. i hope he won't be confined this weekend because i am going to be so damn darned guilty for the labour day long weekend! i almost fell asleep when uncle sent me home, if i did it will be EMBARRASSMENT in caps. am dying to see him again. i want to have sushi buffet. with anyone and everyone.
and i actually still can't get over the b4. it's like prolonged grief.
pendulum in the grandfather's clock
swings back and forth
like emotions sway here and there
like problems hide and arise
they never really go away.
i'm selfish, to think of you day and night, keeping you all to myself.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
some people's blogs have striking resemblances to mine.
i see.
should that be a compliment?
finished swimming in the morning and feeling so hungry i could eat a bakery.
and i didn't expect myself to be so tired and i have to meet angel tonight.
i hope min can come along with us. ooh!
somehow, my plight seems invisible to you or is it that you choose to ignore?
one can have a perfectly miserable life.
i see.
should that be a compliment?
finished swimming in the morning and feeling so hungry i could eat a bakery.
and i didn't expect myself to be so tired and i have to meet angel tonight.
i hope min can come along with us. ooh!
somehow, my plight seems invisible to you or is it that you choose to ignore?
one can have a perfectly miserable life.
Monday, April 18, 2005
李圣杰 sam lee
痴心绝对
想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味 你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你做任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决
currently ken's fave. can't help smiling whenever he sings this song.
痴心绝对
想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味 你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你做任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决
currently ken's fave. can't help smiling whenever he sings this song.
my computer is dying. ie goes on and off as and when it likes. damn irritating.
we walked the streets together only once
everything felt so natural
yet it becomes surreal thinking back
your averted eyes bites into the heart
while all i see is your crumpled shirt
close your eyes
before reality arrives.
and all you do is embrace me with your silence.
we walked the streets together only once
everything felt so natural
yet it becomes surreal thinking back
your averted eyes bites into the heart
while all i see is your crumpled shirt
close your eyes
before reality arrives.
and all you do is embrace me with your silence.
weekend was good. i have bored weekdays but extremely busy weekends. it has been ages since mommy and i went for high tea and though the food wasn't all fantastic, i was all smiles. reminded me of younger times when mom used to bring me to high tea all the time before shopping. one great woman.
sunday was 'wetdreams'. wasn't a very nice show though a few laughs in between. should have watched 'guesswho' instead but oh, well. while i am intending to lose weight, i had 3 ice cream cones. i had one all by myself. then i bought an extremely awful pop-doh which ended up in the bin after 2 bites. poor ken who was indulging in his vanilla caramel brownie couldn't bear to see me in such a poor state decided to part with his cone. i tried rejecting but i am such a sucker for ice-cream i had the cone eventually. isn't he such a darling? =) dinner at ken's was good again because there was soup! ken's mommy makes soups so good i think i dried the soupbowl. when i got home i had another cone because mommy bought wall's ice cream. i cannot resist ice cream! =)
intended to go swimming today. but the weather looks threatening (or am i just plain lazy?) boo.
sunday was 'wetdreams'. wasn't a very nice show though a few laughs in between. should have watched 'guesswho' instead but oh, well. while i am intending to lose weight, i had 3 ice cream cones. i had one all by myself. then i bought an extremely awful pop-doh which ended up in the bin after 2 bites. poor ken who was indulging in his vanilla caramel brownie couldn't bear to see me in such a poor state decided to part with his cone. i tried rejecting but i am such a sucker for ice-cream i had the cone eventually. isn't he such a darling? =) dinner at ken's was good again because there was soup! ken's mommy makes soups so good i think i dried the soupbowl. when i got home i had another cone because mommy bought wall's ice cream. i cannot resist ice cream! =)
intended to go swimming today. but the weather looks threatening (or am i just plain lazy?) boo.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
the rassaf took him back again today at 10pm.
that means about another 5 days before we can meet again.
ken looked positively 'depressed' when we were about to leave.
i felt like just punching him up so he could get medical leave but as usual, i didn't.
he sounded worse on the phone, saying he's homesick (he hardly is).
the way he describes it, army is quite a dump.
i miss him already.
the way some people try to do things subtly, they always end up being more obvious.
pffft.
we met saying 'hello friend'. while you left without a word, i'll just whisper 'goodbye stranger'.
that means about another 5 days before we can meet again.
ken looked positively 'depressed' when we were about to leave.
i felt like just punching him up so he could get medical leave but as usual, i didn't.
he sounded worse on the phone, saying he's homesick (he hardly is).
the way he describes it, army is quite a dump.
i miss him already.
the way some people try to do things subtly, they always end up being more obvious.
pffft.
we met saying 'hello friend'. while you left without a word, i'll just whisper 'goodbye stranger'.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
there's something remarkable about you
that probably only i can feel
no explanations no correct reasons
just quite positive it's you i can't figure
letting bottled emotions flow
in a situation same as long ago
you constantly make me wonder
if we will be right together
perhaps when i fully awaken
i won't be so imprisoned.
in the deepest depths of the heart, it is me who suffocates, ever since i first laid my eyes on you.
that probably only i can feel
no explanations no correct reasons
just quite positive it's you i can't figure
letting bottled emotions flow
in a situation same as long ago
you constantly make me wonder
if we will be right together
perhaps when i fully awaken
i won't be so imprisoned.
in the deepest depths of the heart, it is me who suffocates, ever since i first laid my eyes on you.
seeing you ignited my heart
that hung all alone in the dark
knowing something was amiss
a simple action from you
broke my long-awaited dream
you went long enough
to make me miss you
but returned too quick
before i could forget you
the gaping void gets bigger each time you return, because i know you'd be leaving again.
that hung all alone in the dark
knowing something was amiss
a simple action from you
broke my long-awaited dream
you went long enough
to make me miss you
but returned too quick
before i could forget you
the gaping void gets bigger each time you return, because i know you'd be leaving again.
Friday, April 15, 2005
it's 7.24pm on a friday and i am blogging.
that means my boyfriend (i can't imagine him doing chin-up after chin-up after some more chin-ups and being fucked by some assergeant whose wife probably left for another man who isn't in civil service) is still in camp!
you can't imagine the confusion and agony i'm in this instance.
parents not on talking terms (something actually i should be glad about), boyfriend in army, buddies on their way to zouk now (ohmyfuckinggosh!), putting on weight with every breath i take in, regretting things i did this week, missing alot of people, lots of errands to do but lonesome soul typing away.
how much better can my life get?
right now, i just wish for some hunk to appear beside me now.
so we can have some good sex.
reasons are like excuses. love is just a thought. built in sandcastles which eventually get washed away. how long can we remember love for? for how long will you remember me?
that means my boyfriend (i can't imagine him doing chin-up after chin-up after some more chin-ups and being fucked by some assergeant whose wife probably left for another man who isn't in civil service) is still in camp!
you can't imagine the confusion and agony i'm in this instance.
parents not on talking terms (something actually i should be glad about), boyfriend in army, buddies on their way to zouk now (ohmyfuckinggosh!), putting on weight with every breath i take in, regretting things i did this week, missing alot of people, lots of errands to do but lonesome soul typing away.
how much better can my life get?
right now, i just wish for some hunk to appear beside me now.
so we can have some good sex.
reasons are like excuses. love is just a thought. built in sandcastles which eventually get washed away. how long can we remember love for? for how long will you remember me?
if i've ever made you feel i was playing tricks on you, i'm sorry.
my mind's also in a whirl.
if you've ever thought i was treating you like a substitute, i'm sorry.
i just missed you at the wrong time.
if i've ever made you mad because of the useless things i've said, i'm sorry.
i didn't say them in a moment of impulse.
if you've ever thought i was giving you false impressions, i'm sorry.
i was only keeping feelings muffled.
if i've ever made you feel like ignoring me, i'm sorry.
go ahead, but only for a while.
if you've ever wondered i really felt a little more for you,
i did.
my mind's also in a whirl.
if you've ever thought i was treating you like a substitute, i'm sorry.
i just missed you at the wrong time.
if i've ever made you mad because of the useless things i've said, i'm sorry.
i didn't say them in a moment of impulse.
if you've ever thought i was giving you false impressions, i'm sorry.
i was only keeping feelings muffled.
if i've ever made you feel like ignoring me, i'm sorry.
go ahead, but only for a while.
if you've ever wondered i really felt a little more for you,
i did.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
what does it matter who's at fault?
all that was to happen happened.
so what's the difference?
i am saying this 'cos i hope i won't be getting a big fraction of the blame.
ha. ha. ha.
looking at how often i used the word fuck it's losing its meaning. like irvine welsh.
fickled-minded is tiring on the brain because thoughts are sprinting from an end to another.
i just want you to see how painful it is for me
to accept what i have to
to accept what i don't want to
call me selfish call me childish
call me all the names
it doesn't matter when
there's nothing left.
all that was to happen happened.
so what's the difference?
i am saying this 'cos i hope i won't be getting a big fraction of the blame.
ha. ha. ha.
looking at how often i used the word fuck it's losing its meaning. like irvine welsh.
fickled-minded is tiring on the brain because thoughts are sprinting from an end to another.
i just want you to see how painful it is for me
to accept what i have to
to accept what i don't want to
call me selfish call me childish
call me all the names
it doesn't matter when
there's nothing left.
You scored as Verbal/Linguistic. You have highly developed auditory skills, enjoy reading and writing and telling stories, and are good at getting your point across. You learn best by saying and hearing words. People like you include poets, authors, speakers, attorneys, politicians, lecturers and teachers.
The Rogers Indicator of Multiple Intelligences created with QuizFarm.com |
one particular night, with some people, a particular friend asked another a particular question with reference to yours truly. a particular answer was given and admist the 'jokey' atmosphere, i was feeling particularly hurt.
not hurt by the answer (of course i fucking was), but more at the good friend who actually asked the question aloud, and directly. i was rather disappointed in her, not the first time though.
happened weeks ago. but i still remember vividly the scene.
how can she do that?
forgive and remember. so bad to bear grudges.
hurt.
fucking hurt by some mindless beings.
not hurt by the answer (of course i fucking was), but more at the good friend who actually asked the question aloud, and directly. i was rather disappointed in her, not the first time though.
happened weeks ago. but i still remember vividly the scene.
how can she do that?
forgive and remember. so bad to bear grudges.
hurt.
fucking hurt by some mindless beings.
again, wednesday night left me with overwhelming emotions.
my thoughts are all jumbled up like pieces in a newly opened jigsaw puzzle box. my mind's so scattered and i have let myself down again. extremely disappointed in myself, i am too wilful and too indecisive. i have brought myself into the abyss of trouble again. as usual, i let the heart take over the mind, resulting in irrational decisions. in the spur of moment, i do what i like spontaneously, only to realise embarrassment and regret later on. people think i am fickle-minded and childish, and i can't blame them because this is really the impression i give them with my silly actions. i should be more clear-minded next time. but i really don't know what i want either. i really shouldn't be thinking of anything else. too much free time allows unsound thinking.
in chaos.
like a hot iron pressing against your skin, that night is etched in my memory.
my thoughts are all jumbled up like pieces in a newly opened jigsaw puzzle box. my mind's so scattered and i have let myself down again. extremely disappointed in myself, i am too wilful and too indecisive. i have brought myself into the abyss of trouble again. as usual, i let the heart take over the mind, resulting in irrational decisions. in the spur of moment, i do what i like spontaneously, only to realise embarrassment and regret later on. people think i am fickle-minded and childish, and i can't blame them because this is really the impression i give them with my silly actions. i should be more clear-minded next time. but i really don't know what i want either. i really shouldn't be thinking of anything else. too much free time allows unsound thinking.
in chaos.
like a hot iron pressing against your skin, that night is etched in my memory.
Monday, April 11, 2005
this is really upsetting. screaming and shouting in this dump of a place. lonely soul blogging away. no boyfriend to talk to. my father is a troublesome person. i only want to live with my mommy. i hope we can go for a holiday soon. and when things are bad, i miss kenneth more so.
what's adding to my joy now is i've gained 2 freaking kilograms! i must shed my the excess weight soon! must be due to the lack of work, according to mom. not having courage the last 2 weeks to step on the weighing scale has brought me such disastrous results!
I MUST LOSE WEIGHT!!!
FAT PEOPLE DON'T GAIN IN LIFE.
what's adding to my joy now is i've gained 2 freaking kilograms! i must shed my the excess weight soon! must be due to the lack of work, according to mom. not having courage the last 2 weeks to step on the weighing scale has brought me such disastrous results!
I MUST LOSE WEIGHT!!!
FAT PEOPLE DON'T GAIN IN LIFE.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
didn't i say i will score on lust and violence?
i want to be good and evil at the same time. and the last question of the test i totally agree with.
some people JUST deserve to die.
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | Very High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | High |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | High |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Very High |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Very High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | High |
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
didn't i say i will score on lust and violence?
i want to be good and evil at the same time. and the last question of the test i totally agree with.
some people JUST deserve to die.
when i saw the scars on her wrist, i didn't know to react. all that was running through my mind was whether i was supposed to chide her, why and when she did it. she's so unpredictable at times. then i asked, 'did you use scissors?' she said no, with a needle actually. she said she didn't feel pain whilst doing it but it hurt later on. there were like 5 scars i think. i think we all go through some phase of self-abuse at one point. during younger days, everyone was doing it. everyone had different reasons for it. and for that matter, many different ways of inflicting pain on ourselves. she did it because of her, and i didn't probe further. too many things on my mind i couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. i looked as if i didn't care but i didn't know how to. i don't think she will go out of hand. she knows what's good for her, i hope. when i was 13 or 14, i used to hit my room walls with my hands till the thumbs turned purple. on retrospect, it is quite an innovative way, i must say.
my zit-filled face should be burnt with salicylic acid.
i want to get a present for ken but i don't have money.
can you imagine staying a virgin until you're 28 or 30?
shudders.
my zit-filled face should be burnt with salicylic acid.
i want to get a present for ken but i don't have money.
can you imagine staying a virgin until you're 28 or 30?
shudders.
you don't have to go to a spa for a sensual bath experience. i like to see foam forming when you keep rubbing soap against your skin. it's like a bubble bath, the only difference is that you're standing up and not in a tub. i've always wanted someone to scrub my back for me but it's too bad 'cos i bathe alone. next time i'm going to get a bigggg towel just for the both of us to hide in. i remember how i used to bathe with mommy when i was little. i love having someone shampoo my hair! feels so good.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
blistered hands, aching shoulders, injured wrist.
i hate the rsaf (read: stupid and fucked-up) for this.
my poor baby is out for ANOTHER field camp.
i won't get to see him till saturday!!!
i am going bonkers already.
a little bit of consolation...i hope our arrangement for friday night is still on.
woo-hoo.
let me hope.
i hate the rsaf (read: stupid and fucked-up) for this.
my poor baby is out for ANOTHER field camp.
i won't get to see him till saturday!!!
i am going bonkers already.
a little bit of consolation...i hope our arrangement for friday night is still on.
woo-hoo.
let me hope.
Friday, April 08, 2005
I MUST LOSE WEIGHT!
i feel like walking lard.
to add on to my misery, i did not go swimming this week.
and last night added to my gigantic bloated tummy.
you pay a HUGE price (pun intended) for fun.
i think jiak kim street has a nice gym.
:)
I MUST LOSE WEIGHT...
and have a bmi of 20-21?
ARGH. BEING FAT SUCKS.
i feel like walking lard.
to add on to my misery, i did not go swimming this week.
and last night added to my gigantic bloated tummy.
you pay a HUGE price (pun intended) for fun.
i think jiak kim street has a nice gym.
:)
I MUST LOSE WEIGHT...
and have a bmi of 20-21?
ARGH. BEING FAT SUCKS.
horoscope today:
After days of wondering what to do -- while pretending that you have everything under strict control -- you're suddenly ready to admit that you don't quite know what to do. Should you let go and buy what you want, or tighten up that belt and leave it alone? You can't do this alone. There's a solar eclipse due today, and they're not famous for making us think logically. Ask the advice of a trusted friend, someone who has no agenda. Should you be frugal, both with your resources and your affection? Or should you let it all go straight toward the target your impulses are dragging you to? Better ask a trusted friend for an unbiased opinion.
be frugal with affection. i hate to know that i'm in self-denial.
After days of wondering what to do -- while pretending that you have everything under strict control -- you're suddenly ready to admit that you don't quite know what to do. Should you let go and buy what you want, or tighten up that belt and leave it alone? You can't do this alone. There's a solar eclipse due today, and they're not famous for making us think logically. Ask the advice of a trusted friend, someone who has no agenda. Should you be frugal, both with your resources and your affection? Or should you let it all go straight toward the target your impulses are dragging you to? Better ask a trusted friend for an unbiased opinion.
be frugal with affection. i hate to know that i'm in self-denial.
when all else fails, don't fret.
at least i have my toenails to talk to.
'nail #1, you're looking healthy today!'
(continue conversation by talking to other 9 or 19 nails i.e. 'nail #8, you're looking good/pretty/pinkier/longer today!')
it's a sad and lonely life.
when lonely people want to remain lonely, they feel like me.
did you ever just cry?
at least i have my toenails to talk to.
'nail #1, you're looking healthy today!'
(continue conversation by talking to other 9 or 19 nails i.e. 'nail #8, you're looking good/pretty/pinkier/longer today!')
it's a sad and lonely life.
when lonely people want to remain lonely, they feel like me.
did you ever just cry?
Thursday, April 07, 2005
i realised a friend has been rather sad all these while. i don't know, she's a rather good friend (to me, that is). and i feel weird to know only now. not that i have the right to care, i think i have failed myself once again. i hate not being a good friend to someone i care about. well, at least abit. but i don't know if she treats me as one. now that i've said stuff like that, i feel kiddish.
what's the fucking big deal about friendship?
i met xue today and there was a huge chunk of homemade chocolate cake, lots of updates, much shopping and much more love.
we saw huishan working and i smiled. missed her.
i saw the sth necklace today and i like it. but i didn't get it.
mom and i had dinner at hans where the grilled fish sucked.
ken asked for ajisen again.
what are friends for?
sometimes friends don't really care as much.
you are really just another passer-by.
what is the fucking big deal about friendship?
people hate people.
i hate people alot.
i swear i'm going to get retribution.
why do you make effort to stay in touch but people always fail you? or you failing yourself? have you been good enough a human being to them?
i think i should only speak to my pc from now on.
it doesn't say 'friends forever' and leave you dead from then on.
nothing really happened actually, but i just feel anti-friend today.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
why does MY fucking life always screw up?!
what's the fucking big deal about friendship?
i met xue today and there was a huge chunk of homemade chocolate cake, lots of updates, much shopping and much more love.
we saw huishan working and i smiled. missed her.
i saw the sth necklace today and i like it. but i didn't get it.
mom and i had dinner at hans where the grilled fish sucked.
ken asked for ajisen again.
what are friends for?
sometimes friends don't really care as much.
you are really just another passer-by.
what is the fucking big deal about friendship?
people hate people.
i hate people alot.
i swear i'm going to get retribution.
why do you make effort to stay in touch but people always fail you? or you failing yourself? have you been good enough a human being to them?
i think i should only speak to my pc from now on.
it doesn't say 'friends forever' and leave you dead from then on.
nothing really happened actually, but i just feel anti-friend today.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
why does MY fucking life always screw up?!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
terrible cramps and aching heart. it's getting worse.
i hope you're not having a hard time in camp, ken. it hurts to hear your strained voice every night, and i'm sorry you still have to deal with my temper the last 2 days. in fact, i'm thankful that you're always around and you know me far better than i know myself. i'm sorry for the petty arguments i often start. i wish we were still back in school. it's funny how life is more stressful now without books. i don't know how many millions of people will agree with that. hah. for those still having exams, good luck and enjoy life while you still can. you don't know how hard it is without school.
'school rocks.' - this is an understatement.
i hope you're not having a hard time in camp, ken. it hurts to hear your strained voice every night, and i'm sorry you still have to deal with my temper the last 2 days. in fact, i'm thankful that you're always around and you know me far better than i know myself. i'm sorry for the petty arguments i often start. i wish we were still back in school. it's funny how life is more stressful now without books. i don't know how many millions of people will agree with that. hah. for those still having exams, good luck and enjoy life while you still can. you don't know how hard it is without school.
'school rocks.' - this is an understatement.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
blogger has some stupid error last night and my long entry disappeared just like that.
in short, i miss all my darling girls and my darling boy.
kenneth, i miss you dearly and wish rsaf would burn now.
xue, i miss you alot i can't wait to see you next week.
min, i miss you so much i want to go clubbing with you again!
angel, i miss you but it's okay 'cos we're going swimming already.
hwan, i miss you so make sure you're free on your birthday.
carine, veron, may, we can go mad tomorrow!
shan, i really miss you i just want to see you!
i still miss many other people i feel sad to mention.
so many things missing from this life i'm a total mistake.
in short, i miss all my darling girls and my darling boy.
kenneth, i miss you dearly and wish rsaf would burn now.
xue, i miss you alot i can't wait to see you next week.
min, i miss you so much i want to go clubbing with you again!
angel, i miss you but it's okay 'cos we're going swimming already.
hwan, i miss you so make sure you're free on your birthday.
carine, veron, may, we can go mad tomorrow!
shan, i really miss you i just want to see you!
i still miss many other people i feel sad to mention.
so many things missing from this life i'm a total mistake.
Monday, April 04, 2005
bo go ship da - kim bum soo
english translated version
I miss you dearly
You wait for me, but I can't come
to where you are crying
You don't know I keep hurting you
Please just leave me
I miss you dearly, I miss you dearly
I hate myself for missing you so much
I want to cry, kneeling down in front of you
Hope that whole thing didn't happened
I was crazy loving you
And the memory is trying to find you
But I cannot trap you under the word of Love
I know I should not
But I am dying to see you again
I miss you dearly, I miss you dearly
I hate myself for missing you so much
I want to believe this is the way it supposed to be
I must leave for you
I was crazy loving you
And the memory is trying to find you
But I cannot trap you under the word of Love
I know I should not
But I am dying to see you again
I am dying to see you again...
romanised lyrics
Ah-Moo-Ri Gi-Da-Ryu-Do Nahn-Mot-Gah
Ba-Bo-Chuh-Rum Ul-Go-It-Nuen Nuh-Eh-Guht-Eh
Sang-Chuh-Mahn Joo-Nuen Na-Rul Woi Mo-Rue-Go
Gi-Da-Ri-Ni Tuh-Nah-Gah-Rahn Mal-Ya
Bo-Go-Ship-Da Bo-Go-Ship-Da
Ih-Run Nae-Gah-Mi-Woh-Jil-Mahn-Kuem
Ul-Go-Ship-Da Neh-Geh Moo-Rup Kuhl-Go
Mo-Doo Uhp-Suht-Dun-Yil Doil-Soo-It-Dah-Myon
Mi-Chil-Dut Sa-Rang-Haet-Dun Gi-Uk-Yi
Chu-Uk Duel-Yi Nuh-Rul Chat-Go Yit-Ji-Mahn
Duh-Yi-Sang Sa-Rang Yi-Ran Byon-Myong-Eh
Nuh-Rul Gah-Dul-Soo Up-Suh
Yi-Ruh-Myon Ahn-Doi-Ji-Mahn
Jook-Ul-Mahn-Kuem Bo-Go-Ship-Da
Bo-Go-Ship-Da Bo-Go-Ship-Da
Ih-Run Nae-Gah-Mi-Woh-Jil-Mahn-Kuem
Mit-Go-Ship-Da All-Uhn Gil-Yi-Rah-Go
Nuh-Rul Wui-Hae Tuh-Nah-Ya-Mahn Han-Dah-Go
Mi-Chil-Dut Sa-Rang-Haet-Dun Gi-Uk-Yi
Chu-Uk Duel-Yi Nuh-Rul Chat-Go Yit-Ji-Mahn
Duh-Yi-Sang Sa-Rang Yi-Ran Byon-Myong-Eh
Nuh-Rul Gah-Dul-Soo Up-Suh
Yi-Ruh-Myon Ahn-Doi-Ji-Mahn
Jook-Ul-Mahn-Kuem Bo-Go-Ship-Da
credits to yonny from kpop lyrics
english translated version
I miss you dearly
You wait for me, but I can't come
to where you are crying
You don't know I keep hurting you
Please just leave me
I miss you dearly, I miss you dearly
I hate myself for missing you so much
I want to cry, kneeling down in front of you
Hope that whole thing didn't happened
I was crazy loving you
And the memory is trying to find you
But I cannot trap you under the word of Love
I know I should not
But I am dying to see you again
I miss you dearly, I miss you dearly
I hate myself for missing you so much
I want to believe this is the way it supposed to be
I must leave for you
I was crazy loving you
And the memory is trying to find you
But I cannot trap you under the word of Love
I know I should not
But I am dying to see you again
I am dying to see you again...
romanised lyrics
Ah-Moo-Ri Gi-Da-Ryu-Do Nahn-Mot-Gah
Ba-Bo-Chuh-Rum Ul-Go-It-Nuen Nuh-Eh-Guht-Eh
Sang-Chuh-Mahn Joo-Nuen Na-Rul Woi Mo-Rue-Go
Gi-Da-Ri-Ni Tuh-Nah-Gah-Rahn Mal-Ya
Bo-Go-Ship-Da Bo-Go-Ship-Da
Ih-Run Nae-Gah-Mi-Woh-Jil-Mahn-Kuem
Ul-Go-Ship-Da Neh-Geh Moo-Rup Kuhl-Go
Mo-Doo Uhp-Suht-Dun-Yil Doil-Soo-It-Dah-Myon
Mi-Chil-Dut Sa-Rang-Haet-Dun Gi-Uk-Yi
Chu-Uk Duel-Yi Nuh-Rul Chat-Go Yit-Ji-Mahn
Duh-Yi-Sang Sa-Rang Yi-Ran Byon-Myong-Eh
Nuh-Rul Gah-Dul-Soo Up-Suh
Yi-Ruh-Myon Ahn-Doi-Ji-Mahn
Jook-Ul-Mahn-Kuem Bo-Go-Ship-Da
Bo-Go-Ship-Da Bo-Go-Ship-Da
Ih-Run Nae-Gah-Mi-Woh-Jil-Mahn-Kuem
Mit-Go-Ship-Da All-Uhn Gil-Yi-Rah-Go
Nuh-Rul Wui-Hae Tuh-Nah-Ya-Mahn Han-Dah-Go
Mi-Chil-Dut Sa-Rang-Haet-Dun Gi-Uk-Yi
Chu-Uk Duel-Yi Nuh-Rul Chat-Go Yit-Ji-Mahn
Duh-Yi-Sang Sa-Rang Yi-Ran Byon-Myong-Eh
Nuh-Rul Gah-Dul-Soo Up-Suh
Yi-Ruh-Myon Ahn-Doi-Ji-Mahn
Jook-Ul-Mahn-Kuem Bo-Go-Ship-Da
credits to yonny from kpop lyrics
bo go ship da is my current favourite song. i really can't get enough of kwon sang woo, i can't help it if you're sick of me too. i made ken call me 'jing shu' and i called him 'cheng jun ge', and i felt really like a happy little girl. i was blind for like half an hour, just to renact the drama for a bit. after he misguided me on the steps ( i fell!), i un-blinded myself. but it was quite fun and...not good being blind. i love ken for being ever-so acommodating. and lovely.
I WANT TO GET KSW'S POSTERS.
I WANT TO GET KSW'S POSTERS.
min and shan, and whoever concerned, i really miss the times we watched meteor garden, chased f4, queued up for autograph sessions, made banners and everything other thing. the times were so much fun i think reminiscing makes me laugh and cry at the same time. i know i've repeated this the millionth time, but i was watching stairway to heaven and i suddenly thought of old times. the male lead was chasing the female lead in the bus, did it jog your memory? immediately, daomingsi flashed into my mind with shancai on the bus! we even saw dms puke during his ng shots. i want to do that all over again. everytime we went for an event, the next day was surely an exam day, i think it was social studies. haha. we were super crazy. i want to go everyone's house to camp and watch meteor garden till we sleep again. all those tissues, all those screams. we never never fail to catch others' attention!
in any case, i really am in love with kwon sang woo! he is absolutely dashing!
in any case, i really am in love with kwon sang woo! he is absolutely dashing!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
