i am one jealous bitch. the incessant jealousy. fuck off, bitch, your return just pisses me off. you know, there are times when you just hate yourself 'cos the evil twin surfaces, whether it's a choice or not, whether you like it or not. like now.
i said, f.u.c.k o.f.f.

"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman."
Virginia Woolf

do you remember how we went in late for our chinese paper during the o's?
do you remember how we sang in class, to the teachers' dismay?
do you remember the shoppaholicks?
do you remember how we cried 'cos all the teachers preferred the next class?
do you remember our sleepovers, our overnights?
do you remember our crazy citylink night?
do you remember our photo frenzies?
do you remember rule no. 6?
do you remember the firehose corner, our own 'balcony'?
do you remember the noticeboard?
do you rememeber our back-gate lunches?
do you remember love, us?
do you remember the birthday 'showers'?
do you remember our inter-class games during p.e.?
do you remember how we bitched with other bitches?
do you remember our shopping trips?
do you remember our lockers and the benches?
do you remember how we sang, how we laughed, how we cried, how we went through thick and thin, good and bad time?

i do. i miss you guys.

yesterday's day out with ken's friends made me realise how much i miss all of you. it's not just the faces, it's not just the times, but the loss of it all. here we are, going our separate ways as time goes along, i'm afraid time cannot make up for it. time's going faster than i can think of you guys. sometimes, i wish time would stop at the moments we shared.

-the group, the times, our memories.

I did it in 9 seconds.
I deserved an A+!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!

catch a falling star, put it in your pocket and never let it fade away.

+everybody loves you and nobody gets burned
as long as you are living, in your perfect world+

come on, lynn, breathe easy. everybody, let's breathe easy.
'but i can't breathe no more...'

i miss many things. i miss my brother. i miss my parents. i miss him. i miss my friends. i miss the past. i miss many things. i miss life. where did all these go?

I'd like to run away from you, but if you never found me I would die
I'd like to break the chains you put around me, but I know I never will
You stay away and all I do is wonder why the hell I wait for you
But when did common sense prevail for lovers when we know it never will
Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could never live without you
For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
You never treat me like you should, so what's the good of loving as I do?
Although you always laugh at love, nothing else would be good enough for you
Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could never live without you
For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me live, you make me die, for you
You make me sing, you make me sad, you make me glad, you make me mad, for you
I love you, hate you, love you, hate you
But I'll want you till the world stops turning
For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
I love you, hate you, love you, hate you
But I'll want you till the world stops turning
For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you
I love you, hate you, love you, hate you
But I'll want you till the world stops turning
For whatever you do
I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you

i had a fantastic day! i love kenneth and all our friends!
whoo-pieeee!!! never felt so free and happy for such a long time. =) *allsmiles*

i love the new five for fighting song. it just paints every human feeling so accurately.
five for fighting - a hundred years

does everybody seem to be down with the cold or something? please take care. the world's deteriorating. rapidly.

feeling blah. because i'm all alone at home with my sore throat for company. what a lovely night. blah blah.

Troublemaker Emily


Which Emily Strange are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i want a blythe doll!

i went to the doc's today for the bad throat. ouch. she gave me 5 types of medicine. i love pills. =) i wanted to develop the cam photos today, or rather wanted to do it on monday already, but it just slipped my mind. the sore throat made me off-spirits today. the discomfort is unbearable. plus that i've got 3 ulcers and a cough. gosh. all that in return for a mc. woo-hoo. i love mcs. i want some clam chowder.

some people has obviously tried to affect others with their so-ever-idealistic views about the world. come on, this is the REAL world. live off that surreal 'depths' (the irony of it all) of life. we are just students, just students from one of the last few colleges. you are not even a top-notch student! gosh. wake up, stop trying to place the world on your shoulders and think you are doing us all a great favour. you are so not! if you would just keep us out of your dissident affairs, we will be more than ecstatic! we don't care, no. you are not even part of our class, as it appears. gosh. call you an iconoclastic ms know-it-all and it'll be an understatement. i hope my gp tutor is not going to get implicated. if not i might just skin people alive. this place is merely a location (yes, such technical terms) for us to take our a-levels, seriously, after i've taken my papers, i don't give a care if the college burns down or not. i don't care a damn if the arts fac is going to be demolished. this is a dog-eat-dog world, there's no time for such juvenile attempts (notice: 'attempts') when ultimately, the a levels are our aims. the only thing i'm upset about is my tutor's reputation. if his reputation is tarnished, seriously feeling guilty about something we have not done is fuck. i have no vocab for this but -fuck-. arts will not flourish in jjc. oh gosh, try your futile efforts somewhere else and please do not incriminate others. save the teacher, i say! (no pun intended =)

03a2 : apathy is our motto.

talk in everlasting words, and dedicate them all to me.

diyana, get well soon. angels don't like to see people sick, especially if it's you, di! =) cheers, get plenty of liquid. cheers. get well NOW!

-if you want to destroy my sweater
hold this thread as i walk away
watch me unravel, i'll soon be naked
lying on the floor, i've come undone-

i love nydc's mudpies! mmmmmm...! heavenly.

happy 18th birthday, zawani! have a great day ahead. =)

each night i'm alone. i feel alone. each night i'm lonely, i'm lonely. for every night i'm alone and lonely, for every night i am alone and lonely.

have you any idea how much i am doing for you? each time i leave you alone, i'm afraid you won't be able to make it on your own. i can't to leave you be, i try as much as i can, as best as i can, to help you as far as possible. do you realise how much i have done for you, even at the expense of myself, my own time??? i stay up just for you, to finish what i promise to do for you, no matter how tired i can get, each time i promise you something, i try to do it. i can't leave you to finish your assignments, i can't leave you to study for your tests, will you not disappoint me? no, i don't want an explicit from you, all i want is for you to not take me for granted please. i am a girl after all, i am doing all i can for you, each time i cry i feel like it's my fault. everything i do i do it just for you, will you please acknowledge my presence? will you please pay more attention to what's inside of me, not on the outside...'cos it's getting quite hard for me to smile any longer. please. treat me like somebody you know and love.

-i don't want to cry to sleep no more.

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

too lazy to start on my assignments and even read up on othello. yawns. i want to live. i need to live. to explore my limits. i want a taste of life. a real taste of life.

how's my sweetheart today? =) i bet you know i'll blog each day i don't get to see you. sometimes i wish you were my neighbour. -laughs-

here i am gorging on skittles when everybody's out and having fun. what a pathetic life i lead. and i miss my other half already. i feel like a total loser. i know this sounds sappy but i am so glad to have you in my life. i lost my heart to you, yet i found my missing piece. :)

all for nothing. all that time, effort, and spirit all in vain. call me a sore loser, call me a bad sportsman but i can't help feeling bitterly disappointed. we put in so much energy and faith in each other, all the rehearsals, the ups and downs we shared. because we expected such high hopes only to fall harder. it's only natural to feel upset, only natural to cry. but it all has come and gone. whatever the result, we know ourselves who is the real winner. =) the best group ever, dramatics, i love all of you. you all made a difference in my j2 life. thanks, for the tears and fears, most importantly the bond that we share.
the only consolation is the best actress award, diyana! congrats, congrats. this's something i will never forget in my entire jc life. something worth remembering because the memories are priceless, nothing, nobody can ever replace them. i will miss the times we spent in college when we leave each other someday. don't cry, don't tear, is this not part and parcel of life? :) i sound so hackneyed. there'll be greater challenges ahead of us. like, saving the arts? haha. futile efforts count a tad, don't they? at least we tried. in drama, in everything. college life is already as bleak as it can be, but you guys added sunshine into it. so many thanks.
"serina, serina, don't listen to them, you know in your heart who's the best, just listen to it." =)

-dramafest 20 feb 2004 (friday), jjc, 03a2, dramatics-

u2 - all that you can't leave behind. thanks for being my guardian. i can feel you around. =) i know you're always with me. because you love me, because i'm your sister, and no one else even takes my place.

i need white shoes. angelic, angelic shoes. some sneaky shoe thief conveniently removed my shoes from my rack, i suppose. how sweet. what goes round comes round, u evil one. grmph.

yes, i am too lazy to fix the comments section. at least, leaving it as it as makes me presume alot of people read but it's only that they cannot leave notes. yes, thanks for the self-consolation. at least, there's nothing to gauge anymore. ha. ha. ha. and yes, i am going to flunk the econs test. and dramafest is on friday and i still get my lines mixed up. gosh, i am SO unproductive.

m-i-s-e-r-y

i wish i could share your burden, i wish i could hurry and grow up. it's so hard on mommy and daddy i feel so useless. the family is falling apart, piece by piece, where's the warranty card? is it not another electronic device where there're at least a few years warranty? i'm feeling the strain it's taking a toll on me. perhaps the best solution would be a natural disaster where everyone dies together, or at least, some poison gas fills the house in and out and we all die from gas poisoning. all of us. at least i get to die with mommy and daddy. i won't be so afraid then.

i wish you would string me a dream these days. even a tiny vague faded scene of you, 'cos i just want to see you again. i just want to meet you again, feel you close by once more. i can't help but miss you. somebody to hug when i just need a brother nearby.
- - where are you now`

was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
oh things are gonna happen naturally
and taking your advice i'm looking on the bright side
and balancing the whole thing
but often times those words get tangled up in lines
and the bright lights turn to night
until the dawn it brings
another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

but what can i say? but what can i do? whatever happens happens. life is as such. leave your shoes on. keep your coats on. the chill of the scorching weather is getting unbearable. everything happens for a reason, whether it being known or not. just keep everybody in our prayers. it's beyond anyone's control. hold hands, gain strength, keep warm, hold on tight. nobody don't want to see any more worlds crashing down. for mine's already been ruined.

i miss you dearly, milton. always on my mind. how i wish i could turn back time. even for just 3 seconds, to tell you how much you mean to me. how much you mean to me.

100 Years

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

happy vday to all. and also sorry to mins for putting this late only today. i also forgot to wish your daddy happy birthday. the attention was on you the whole of yesterday. =) haha. hope you enjoyed your 18th!

happy 18th birthday, shimin!
you've been a great buddy, sweetie. love lots.

cheers! it's getting too much i feel like puking my guts out. yay! cheers to the world, and myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck it.

tell me what v-day is all about. is all about the gifts and the presents? is it about materialism? it's just another commercialised holiday. or not even an offical holiday. tell me about valentine's or choose, to kill me now.

Sneakers- funny, laid-back, and goofy, you love to
make people laugh and have a good time. You
enjoy comfort and don't care to much about what
people think of you. You like to hang out with
your buddies and just have a good time. [please
vote! thank you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i miss my brother so much. so much.

i had a fun day with ken today. we had a mini photo frenzy. woo-haha. xoxo. by the way, the joy luck club movie is good. watch it.

aiya, wa cha cha! maka maka dane```!

i'm lonely. i'm bored. i'm missing you, mr chow.

i didn't mean it to turn out this way. i really wanted your company. you're making me go on a guilt trip. you know how much i want to spend my time with you too. oh my.

Your Seduction Stye: "Au Natural"

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it


That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!


The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism




You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world


Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in


You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?




You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways


Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you


As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.



What Kind of Seducer Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

time really flies. i reached home at about 6 plus today, thinking i have lots of time to catch up with myself. but i unknowingly spent 2 full hours on doing some stuff for interact, and come up with ugly labels. i feel like a loser. and guess what, i scratched my arm with the cabinet door and it's swollen. ouchouchouch. i can't believe how well i can procrastinate and waste time. oh my goodness. so much to do, even coming home early doesn't help. and i haven't memorised my lines. gosh. the never-ending tasks to finish.

mins, your blog just rocks. the template is soooo sweet. =) cheers. also, you are so free to change it. haha. so pretty!

Stacie Orrico - I promise
Will I always be there for you
When you need someone
Will I be that one you need
Will I do all my best to
To protect you
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night
Will i keep the rain from fallin down into your life
I promise, I promise
I promise I will
Will I take tender care of you
Take your darkest night
And make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong
And to lean on
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life
I promise, I promise
I promise, I promise
I promise I will, yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I'll promise I'll be there for you
There for you
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life
I promise, I promise
I promise I will, yeah

thank you for helping me with my keyboard, yys. =) hee. you never fail to be there all the time.

i still love my parents. no matter what, they are my parents. sheesh. -sheepish-

i'm going to do what i want and what i like. you can't stop me. even if you're my father. i can indulge in rebelliousness and bitchiness for all i want. call me evil. call me bad. if you can't keep your words, why must i? who's fault is it that i haven't turned out the way you wanted me? i'm s-o-r-r-y. it's just too bad. i'm sick and tired of all this nonsense. what did i do to deserve this karma?

surfeited. yucks.

i have a damn screwed-up life. today for the first i used fuck in front of my father. he was damn shocked. but seriously, i don't give a care. he threw his temper at me for no reason, and i'm damn pissed. kill me for my angry tears. what the fuck. but i love my mummy.

i'd marry the first person who gets me a dog. i will! i loveeeeeeeee dogs. i'd rather somebody get me a puppy then a 3-carat diamond ring. talk about diamonds being a girl's best friend. but then again, if someone does get me some diamond jewellery, i won't mind. =) at least i can sell it to get cash for my dog. woo-hoo.

a kind of subtle lust for magic and fairytale endings.

You have a water personality. You are moody and
often depressed, caught up in the 'why me?'s of
life. You have been hurt and as a consequence,
question everybody's motives behind their
relationship with you. Relationships don't come
easy to you and when you are in one, you can
become too caught up in what you're doing wrong
and disregard the other person almost entirely.
Despite the downsides, you have a lot of
friends (even if you can only trust one or two
of them). Cheer up, Emo kid, and enjoy life for
what it is.


Elemental Personalities: Which is Yours?
brought to you by Quizilla

-gleams-. :*)

i actually went out with my mummy and kenneth today! he met us at citilink and for the first time i felt so comfortable with my mum and my 'friend'. haha. my mum's smart enough to know, but he was still a 'friend'. =) but it was nicenicenice alright. mummy even wanted to invite him to the house 'cos we were getting sparklers for the night. but i was kind of hesitant since daddy was at home. i knew dad would kick up a big hoo-ha if ken went up, despite my mother's 'no, he won't. don't say your dad like that.' we went 'sparkling' with ruey hwan at almond avenue till about 12 plus. i never had so much fun in a long while. the outing with ken and mummy went well, with a few awkard silences and me giggling at ken's 'unsureness'. haha. i could go out with my boyfriend without forsaking my beloved mummy. it was a plus-plus. the only minuses were that he had to be my 'friend', whether my mum knew about us or not. and i was bugged by this terrible tummyache all the time. 'no pain, no gain?' heh. oh, well. i love my mummy, my daddy, my brother and ken. haha. and all my girlfriends.

my significant other, i love you to bits and bits. =))))

i wanted to stay up to do my homework but i guess as much, i'm up with doing nothing. and i'm bored and lonely. with nobody to turn to.

we were late for school on friday. not late but i'd just save the details. we had to do some 'manual' labour in the office before getting our confiscated ez-links back. call me cheesy but i felt like i was in a taiwanese idol drama. oh, oh! you know, the scenes where this boyfriend and girlfriend gets detention and end up teasing each other instead? haha. like such pure innocene. -pop!s bubble and returns to planet earth- i'm such a corny pig. and why must my keyboard run out of battery now! whines.

and I wonder when I sing along with you,
if everything could ever feel this real forever,
if anything could ever be this good again...

i want to watch lost in translation.
pending: paper 4 summaries, human geography test, paper 8 analysis, econs mcqs