i watched the last samurai today. wanted peter pan at first but wanted to catch an earlier show. the choice was good. the last samurai is good. a charming movie, i say. with its so-ever charismatic tom cruise. -swoons- and that ken watanabe is another handsome, well-groomed piece of art. i say, i say, older men has such charisma that the young lads so, so lack! it was about 3 hours, and i found the war scenes a little too bloody. kind of upsetted me abit. abit on the hard side for me. as usual, i started my water flow towards the end. it was so touching. especially when ken watanabe had to kill himself in name of honour and the enemies took their berets off in respect. it was this touching. i think i won't mind a second watch. charming. the two hunks. mmm.

deciding my swan song soon. hear it soon. but i haven't guts to play it yet. much as i want to. i'm such a fucking coward.

help. somebody save me. please. please.

HELP! i'm snapping into two. i'm breaking into pieces. i have no time yet i'm still blogging away. i'm so tired, i wish i would just disappear into the air.
somebody, burn me alive.

two tests this week. more tests the next. brainless unproductive school activities. piling piling piling assignments and tutorials. demanding tutors, darned college.
is this life!? oh, fuck.

i don't want to study. i don't want to study. i don't want to study. i'm sick and tired. i'm sick and tired. i'm sick and tired. i want to quit school. i just hate school!!!

happy 18th birthday, aikwee! hope you enjoyed your day, even though you had lessons till 7pm! =) cheers.

happy birthday, kenneth! hope your 19th went fine, of course it did, with the many gifts and two cakes! it was a great day for me, sweetheart. lotsa hugs and kisses.

"somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
and the dreams that you dared to dream really do come true..
someday i'll wish upon a star,
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me..
where troubles melt like lemon drops..
way above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me...
somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly..
birds fly over the rainbow..why oh then why can't i?"
-somewhere over the rainbow, ray charles

silas marner. silas marner. silas marner. lynnette. lynnette. lynnette. complain, complain, complain, complain, complain.

the visiting marathon went great. haha. except that it was raining the whole day. hope there's many more to come. i just love my friends. nothing beats secondary school friends. really. it's irreplaceable, it's priceless. i love all of you! i love my boyfriend too, though he kind of sucks at times. or most of the time. =) and a happy new year to all.

be careful with my heart. i'm actually letting you hold it.

hang me high up. to just let me go, so i'd fall right to hell.

the new year passes so fast. so quickly i'm scared.

i still can't believe that you're no longer around. i still like to think that you're away in england like last year, like before. you're spending your christmas lovely in a foreign place, you're spending new year good in a faraway land, just that i don't know where you are. the festive mood doesn't get to me at all, i just think of you all the time. it's so empty here, it's so lonely here. and it's getting worse as the days pass. blame me for being a crybaby, call me a sob bag. it's hard putting up a front all the time, but life goes on. it's hard to be happy when i'm missing you.
- give me a manual on being happy.

oh my god. i can't believe it. i actually spoke to his brother on the phone. because that pig was fast asleep and his brother had to answer his handphone. oh my. i feel like a total idiot, 200% fool. oh my. argh! give me a paper bag!!!

i went out of my way just hoping i could please you. i crossed the line just hoping i could see your smile. but i think i went too far across the boundary 'cos i can't help but tear.

blame me for being myself. for being a moody fuck. all i wanted was help for my tutorial. all i got was a series of complaints. oh, what fuck is this? ALL I WANTED WAS YOU.

-all i wanted was you. all i wanted was you. only to find you return me my tears.

i want a manicure!!! soon.

it's chinese new year and i've got a darned econs test on tuesday. i can't believe how inconsiderate the teachers are. slave-drivers. i hate econs anyway, they're just adding to my misery. i am so bored. yawns.

you know i love you, no matter what i say. =) yes, the guys are cute, i like boy-watching, i like your friends especially since they are your friends. but you know i love you all the same. =) you know i do. just wanted to assure you. but jamas is still cute! so is cody! and fred! and sam! and whichever cuties catches my eye. =) haha. love, sweets.

sleepy. tired. almost died in the scorching sun. yawns. i need money. i need clothes. i need time. i need love. i need you.

happy birthday, ken! ken chu, that is. xiao tian!

tired. tired. tired. sick of things and all. cny's approaching but i ain't feeling any difference. life is so mundane, just such a routine. give me back my life.

today uncle soo-hang pinced me lightly on the cheeks. that was when i finally realised how much i was still a kid to everyone else when i'm turning eighteen this year. am i still that cherubic little lynnette to whom everyone thought was so quiet yet cute in their eyes? i am seventeen-going-on-eighteen, and people can still ask me if i'm in primary or secondary school. are they blind or what? at least, i look sixteen, though i'm not. but anything below a sixteen is a no-no. do i look that childish still??? if i get out of berms and tees and put on a skirt and a little make-up and actually bother to bother, maybe that'll help. i'll try and do just that. if anyone still asks me for my identification for nc-16 movies, i swear i'm going pulp them. unless he's a cutie. ;) eighteen, just that right age for alcohol, cigs and sex. here i come...!and i'm mature beyond my years. am i not? -looks around for a reply-

i miss my brother. i miss that time when you brought me to lips. i miss that time you gave me a stuffed for christmas. i miss that time you bought me my favourite black forest cake for my 17th. i miss that time when you asked me to get a blog. i miss that time when you tease me about boys. i miss that time when you would shout across the room when there was a boy on the phone. i miss that time when you would tell me where are the cheapest clinics for mcs. i miss that time when you asked me about girls. i miss that time when you would reply when i called 'kor!'. i miss you.

time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity.

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 22 - OCTOBER 22
Did someone say that you are the charmers of
the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever
seen you ruffled or angry. You are very
conscious of your image, and you believe that
anger distorts your face and personality. You
also think you are above things like anger. But
wait before you get into self-congratulatory
mood. Your family or those very close to you
know you better. You have an unmatched temper
amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it
worse is your capacity to justify it.

how true can this get? =)

AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18
You are noble and kind and dislike losing
control over yur emotions. It is very rare for
you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in
situations that involve arguments. It is always
your endeavour to be perfect and socially
correct in your behaviour and attitude, but if
misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an
angry outburst. You will shout and scream and
then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily
forget the situation and will be bitter about it
for a long time.

do you remember our song? do you remember how we used to wait for it to play on radio before going to bed, the only reason i could find to talk to you longer on the phone 'cos we were just friends? do you remember how we used to take walks in all the parks? do you remember how we used to study at macdonalds whenever i skipped my kickboxing classes just to be with you? do you remember how we fell over each other in the carpark? do you remember how you used to hug me from behind, i always resisted since we were only mere friends? do you remember how we started chatting on the phone? do you remember how you loved me? do you remember i'm still here? always here. always waiting.

i feel like sobbing so badly. but then i realise there's no one to cry too. a part of me wants to feel happy because i felt as if i belonged, another part of me wants to rip apart 'cos it's not a good thing i'm on the brink of gloom when it's supposed to be a happy thing. all i wanted was to fall into your arms 'cos that was where i found most secure. all i wanted was to hear your voice 'cos that was what i found most comforting. all i wanted was to feel your hands stroke my hair, 'cos that was when i felt most loved. where do i go when i need a shoulder to lean on? where do i head when i need a hand to hold on?
where do i go now that i'm lost again...

i walk down the streets alone
drained of energy and strength
the pain's still biting
from all your absence
been seeing you from afar
wishing i was right with you
yet not allowing myself to succumb
pride's my obligation
when i all want is to hug you tight
we speak but it isn't there
you're with me yet i can't feel you real
you painted my world with colours
but it's all fading away
i fight the urge to question
if your cough's okay
i resist the temptation to ask
if you're tired after rugby
but when i see your smiles
i know you're doing fine
i'll just fly you a kiss
i'll just send you a hug
before i turn around
so you won't buy
those worthless tears.

i see a mystery ship out on the water
i wonder where it's sailing to
is someone waiting in some other harbor
these fantasies they blow my way
like sirens to a fool
and in the stillness of my soul
i keep returning to...

always,
you.

jer - a chance with you.

i want to watch the hours.

You're the thong.


What kind of footwear are you?
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take the antisocial test.


and go to mewing.net. because laura's feeling social.

i had such a day. i hope the pour of water substituted your shower. somehow, i wish the bottle had been more filled. ease my pain, honey. let me kick you. never incur the wrath of lynnette. jolly well sleep with jjc in your arms and make love to the almond-shaped object. if it weren't for jiayu, ruey hwan, angeline, i think i'd just flip. thanks for spending time with me, although we were busy with math and gp. haha. :) i know aishah won't be reading this, still she was so sweet. it's always the thought that counts.

`in angst about the everything around me. i'm so moody it's fucking me up.

maybe you'd appear at my doorstep, greeting me with a surprise, maybe you'd give me a ring saying you miss me, maybe you'd send me a message saying you're thinking of me, maybe you'd plant a kiss somewhere secret for me to seek, maybe you'd not. maybe. :)

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And their like it's better than yours
Damn right it's better than yours
I could teach you but i have to charge
- kelis, milkshake

there's school tomorrow! officially. i find it such a drag, so repelling. i don't feel like attending lessons, after the holidays. and transport to school is a bother also. people, enjoy school. i'm feeling helpless. shucks. but the very least, at least i get to see you guys, the only plus of going to school. i missed all of you. =) -puckers-

i hate econs. it's such a bother. yawns. it's tiring. and i'm not done after 4 hours.

you must study hard, also, okay? push me and i'll pull you along and up! =) you must must must study hard too! i mean it. it's the a levels and it's the hardest exam ever, in your lifetime, i heard. haha. do your assignments and tutorials dutifully and study for all your tests okay? or else i will ditch you. =) the same goes for me also. haha. DO WELL FOR YOUR A'S PLEASE. and to all, study hard and play hard, too. cheers to a new start, and good luck. and, no more procrastination for this young lady here. and no more slacking. work, work, work. who am i kidding here? =) have fun while studying. what a paradox.

it's the new year and people have been getting rather retrospective. i definitely don't want to look back on 2003 since it has been more of a down year rather than up. oh, what fuck. and this obscenity comes in and out of my mouth so easily these days even mummy doesn't say anything. i ought to be a more refined young lady now. yes, a fucking refined young lady, i say. i seriously think i lack self-discipline. i should be getting my act together and start preparing for my a's. oh, what pun intended. i'm home on the first day of school, doesn't that make a good start? sheesh. i hope i won't be tempted to skip school anymore when term really starts. i will do most of my tutorials, and attempt every test as best as i can. hahaha, i must do well, i must do well, i must do well. get away, sanshoshima, 'cos i'm not letting you get to me. i must be more disciplined. i must study hard for the a's. but first i'm going shopping in town. =)

p.s. everyone blogs only to let people know about their lives, mainly for attention-seeking purposes. i'm not an exception, and i'm ashamed at that fact. but i'm not getting the due attention. i wonder if people still religiously read this load of rubbish i've been updating. people, people, get my hint? i feel like a failure. again.

You're living the movie The Shining!


?? Which Horror Movie Are You Living ??
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You are Lust!
Sexy!! But they say that theres such a thing as too
much of a good thing. You have sex on the
brain, and it doesn't stay just there for long.
Passionate, Fiery - and most certainly
confident. You're a fun loving, spontaneous
person who is always up for a laugh. People
however, have trouble keeping up with you.
You're sex crazy, and perhaps need to tone it
down a bit! learn a little self control!
But, Hey, Congratulations on being the Sexiest Red
Hot deadly sin out of all the 7...


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
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happy new year to all.
cheers.