From the album "Steers And Stripes"
Brooks & Dunn - The Long Goodbye

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free
But it sure is hard to do
It sure is hard to do
I know they say if you don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
Those words don't pull me through
Cause I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me goin' through the mill
climbin' up a hill
This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart
No matter how hard I try
I always make you cry
Come on, baby, it's over let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye
Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
But I know without a doubt
We turned it inside out
And if we walked away
It would make more sense
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we could still try
How long must we keep running on a carousel
Goin' round and round and never getting anywhere
On a wing and prayer
This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart
No matter how hard I try
I always make you cry
Come on, baby, it's over let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye
Long goodbye
Long goodbye

from the album "Fallen"
evanescence - going under

now I will tell you what I've done for you
fifty thousand tears I've cried
screaming, Deceiving, and bleeding for you
and you still won't hear me...
going under
don't want your hand this time
i'll save myself
maybe I'll wake up the walls
now tormented daily, defeated by you
just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
i...dive...again... I'm going under (going under)
drowning you (drowning you)
i'm falling forever (falling forever)
i've got to break though
i'm going under
blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
so I don't know what's real and what's lies
always confusing the thoughts in my head
so I can't trust myself anymore
i...dive...again... I'm going under (going under)
drowning you (drowning you)
i'm falling forever (falling forever)
i've got to break though
i'm...So go on and scream
scream at me
so far away
i won't be broken again
i've got to breathe...
i can't keep going under
i...dive...again... I'm going under (going under)
drowning you (drowning you)
i'm falling forever (falling forever)
i've got to break though
i'm going under (going under)
going under (drowning you)
i'm going under

i don't know for what reason, i miss granny chee at sjh. suddenly this bout of guilt came over me. i promised her 2 or 3 weeks back that i'll be back the following week to visit her again. but i haven't done so. i know she has amnesia and probably won't remember me but i feel so uncomfortable. that's not the point, but the fact that i didn't do what i promised her. i've been suppressing this feeling of guilt since wednesdays ago, telling myself granny chee won't even recognise me when i go back, what more remember that i've agreed to visit her often. but what if? still, i feel really bad. lynnette, what has become of you! am i angry at myself, is this only a minor matter? i'm scared i'll regret if i don't visit her soon. i know i won't be going there this coming wednesday, now how? look at the number of repetions of 'don't's and 'won't's. negativity in here is sure overwhelming.

STUDENTS DRINKING
You're a novelty sign. You like to joke around,
and most likely are one of the intoxicated
college students, this sign is talking about.
You're the life of the party, and when you're
around, everyone has a good laugh.


What's Your Sign?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your first name of Lynnette has given you a studious nature, and the ability to concentrate on whatever you are doing. You could excel in mathematics or in positions where persistence, independence, and individuality are required. In personal associations, a lack of finesse in verbal expression often creates misunderstandings with others, especially with those close to you, because you find it difficult and embarrassing to express depth of feeling when situations arise requiring diplomacy, understanding, and affection. Others may often find you reserved and aloof, when actually you desire love and understanding. This name creates a withdrawn, reserved nature. You feel very alone at times and find it difficult to merge with others in a happy, relaxed manner. You could suffer with head tension, or any weakness relative to the heart, lungs, or bronchial organs.

courtesy of http://www.kabalarians.com

quite true to some extent, apart from the math part. haha. i don't see myself as withdrawn nor reserved, though. just a typical generalisation.

like what? i switched on the radio before i went for a shower and it woke my dad up. he scolded me for that. what volume too loud and all. like huh?! like i would intentionally turn the volume up to wake him? imean, what's wrong with him? with parents in general, it's not like i did it on purpose. and i had to apologise again. what the?

so many days
you've gone by without a trace
i don't know what to do and what to say
what will i do, for you to come and stay
in my mind i've been waiting for you
but there is one thing,
i've lost all the courage to say.

Mest - lost, broken and confused

did you get scared standing alone in the crowd?
did you give up when i was nowhere to be found?
did you get tired of being left all alone?
do you feel better now that you're on your own?
there's nothing without you. the days once had are through.
i'm lost, broken, confused but i won't give up on you ...
tonight all i see is your face on everyone else.
and now i know how scared you were all by yourself.
when the phone rings do you ever hope that it's me?
do you ever dream of a day when we will still be?
there's nothing without you. the days once had are through.
i'm lost, broken, confused but i won't give up on you ...
tonight i'll lie here all alone wondering what our future holds.
and my life should fall apart would you still care?
would you still care? there's nothing without you.
the days once had are through.
i'm lost, broken, confused but...
i won't give up on you tonight

i love the way how lyrics can depict your every feeling, words can say so much.

the more i see them, the more doubtful i become. all those mixed signals, all that uncertainty approaching me. what he says and what she does just make my mind go in a whirl. it just leaves me muddled, yearning for more yet afraid that knowing too much can hurt. as if i'm not hurting already. what will i do? i can't second-guess anymore, 'cos the truth often tells otherwise. i don't trust him, i don't trust no one, i don't trust myself anymore.

it's time for school again. i can't stop sneezing. swollen eyes again. bleah. there goes my mask. i have to smile and laugh, and pretend all's well and here's a strong girl. but who'll know? why can't i stop sneezing?

i just can't help them. heart wrenched, tears dried.

shat·ter ( P ) Pronunciation Key (shtr)
v. shat·tered, shat·ter·ing, shat·ters
v. tr.
To cause to break or burst suddenly into pieces, as with a violent blow.
To damage seriously; disable:
v. intr.
To break into pieces; smash or burst.

looking at the candle flame burning in the darkness of the night,
the wind blowing, the flame flickers, flickers...

how long do i have to continue this mask of mine? every word she says pierces like a dagger in mine, every lie he tells stabs me like a knife. why do i have to be the one? i don't need this, after all the words, after every night, the tears can't help but fall. i'm screaming in me, i'm crying in me. how long will this carry on? behind every smile, i'm broken, so broken. why do i have to be the one? only when the tears fall, i realise...
maybe i should be true all true now. it's time. is it through times like this when i realise i should be a friend, is it through hurtings like that i realise i'm so alone...

//everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life
but i rather be your moon
so i can shine on you during your darkest hours//

princesses never cry. so i shan't.

i can't give you an answer yet. the hurried answer will probably lead to some uncalled unhappiness in time to come. i don't know how, i don't know who. i'm selfish, i'm silly. holding on yet keeping a distance. i simply cannot make up my mind, i'm still not thinking right. i just think you're quite oblivious to your surroundings, things aren't quite always what they appear to be, you know. i won't try to say anything else anymore, i guess. i hope things would turn out fine on one hand, but on the other, i just don't want anything. silly, selfish, stupid me. i lost the courage to do anything already. maybe things should just stay this way.

my damned handphone is erratic. i hate it. the left side buttons are so unworkable and i can't sms. how to live on like this? as if my life isn't bad enough. damn it. this time i just can't hold it.

i don't what to do. i feel so lost.

was surfing the net when i came across this girl's webby. an all-crazy f4 fanatic. reminds me of me a few months back. haha. guess i haven't really passed that stage. i went mad just looking at the pics. *girlish giggle* my vic, my ken, my f4! can't forget the times i went to their concerts, how i screamed, how i cried. and i thought i'd long passed that phase. oh, well. people can never really grow up, can they? at least, i haven't. i still like f4 alot, or so i think. haha. zaizai~~!!!

You told a lie, an odious, damned lie;
Upon my soul, a lie, a wicked lie.
-Othello

-- love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you --

Do you need a boy/girl friend now?
is this the ultimate? no, i want to do my homework, but i don't know how to do it!

Kid at Heart: You're free-spirited-- and refreshing
to be around. But adults may be wary of giving
you too much freedom because you seem
distracted. Prove your reliability by following
through more often.


Do you act your age?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are pink. Rather girly, completely the opposite
of me... And because it's the opposite of me, I
cant think of many words to discribe you, so,
yeah. Sorry about that ^^;;;


What colour are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

as you all can see...i'm unbelievably bored. there, there my geog tutorial's on the table staring back at me. i'm staring back. and still continuing my quiz spree! -childish-

6 august 2003. 7:36:18pm

i'm the one you chose
out of all the people
you wanted me the most
i'm so sorry that i'm falling
help me up lets keep on running
don't let me fall out of love
running, running
as fast as we can
i really hope you make it
do you think we'll make it?
we're running
keep holding my hand
it's so we don't get separated
be
be the one i need
be the one i trust most
don't stop inspiring me
sometimes it's hard to keep on running
we work so much to keep it going
don't make me want to give up

YOU ARE THE REAL THING!!! Coca-Cola. I like you the
best. You are very yummy. Many, many people
would love to drink you. You are very addictive
and when people meet you, they don't want to
leave. Most likely, you are very charismatic.


What type of coke are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

if you're lost and you can look and you will find me
time after time
if you fall i will catch you i'll be waiting
time after time.

i could spend my life just living this dream. you're all i ever need. will there be a dreamcatcher to unleash me into the real world? will there be a somebody who'll just be there? sometimes it just feels when the world's ending on me, but you came back and made my world spin again.
>> this is my dream. >>

everyone's so into that mogu cussies. maybe we should get ms yap one, too. a pink heart-shaped one. nice. =) *cuddles self*

where art thou, people? is anybody still even bothered about me? don't read silently, but i don't have a right anyway. it's okay. is it? no matter how hard i try, it just ain't going to help.

Masochist


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

hey, k'n, did you mean it when you said i'm a masochist? look! -my gosh- haha. is it true? try it.

we've become strangers ever since you let her in. we can't blame anyone, can we?

well hello lil miss sweety! your heart is made out
of chocolate. you're sweet and every one wants
you, you're mysterious. lucky you, you are
totally irresistable, enjoy life, you deserve
it


what is your heart made of?
brought to you by Quizilla


Nokia 3650 is a groovy phone for a groovy girl/boy
like you! You're fun to hang out with and never
fails to suprise people with what's new about
you!


Which Nokia Cellphone is Most Suitable for You?
brought to you by Quizilla

sometimes you shine brighter than the stars and my love for you outshines the sun.

dreamz fm - should i stay

had a drive driven by your love
but when you messed around i lost the drive i found
thought you needed needed someone true
but you changed your mind or had i failed you?
wished you've been careful with my heart
but you tore it apart and broke an angel's heart
i guess what's true has an end somehow
but I am living proof of what love is about
it's hard holding you loving you losing you
it's sad to be true and be fooled by you
i don't know i gotta go [wanna know] should i stay or should i go
you played me on, played me like a clown
but i feel for you, even though I'm down
my heart is heavy, heavy like a rock
but i am so amused you're still in my thoughts
what's done is done and i'll never feel the same
but we had some good times, guess it's sad just the same
i guess the truth doesn't matter somehow
but you were living proof, of what love is about

.:: dreaming all the time to escape from the excruciating pain of reality ::.

i went searching all over everywhere,
looking for the right thing to do, looking for the right answer.
i found my way to you slowly and that was when i found,
the difference in my world of grey hues.
my world with only you and me,
my world with love and no sin.
lying beside you in the rays of the sunset,
our eyes looking up to the sky,
this's the image in my mind.
it's so real i can almost touch you,
this's the image in my mind.
it's so near i can almost feel you,
this's the image in my mind.
the feeling's so undeniable,
the dream's so genuine,
this's the image in my mind.

you are the one - c 21

it's early in the morning
soon another day will dawn
i can't wait to feel your arms
around me again
i believe that we could
lay down the world
together we could live
the dream that never ends
open up the door
just a little more
baby let me in
you are the one, you are the one
who can make moments last forever
the one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
why make it harder, than it has to be
just listen, i'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart
everytime i near you
time is standing still
there's nothing you can't fix
with your heavenly smile
i would never leave you
my love is for life
taking things for granted
was never my style
just give a little love
say you'll never stop
i'll do anything
you are the one, you are the one
who can make moments last forever
the one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
why make it harder, than it has to be
just listen, i'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart
and i'll do anything
if you give me your heart
i'll do anything
you are the one, you are the one
who can make moments last forever
the one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
give a little love
say you'll never stop
and i'll do anything
i'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart
where ever you go
you are the one
why make it harder, than it has to be
just listen, i'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart

"i'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." -notting hill.

Which Part of a Meal Are You?Find out!


Which RelentlessDivas.net Diva are you? Find out!

i'm bursting with energy!!! it's burning hot inside. the good feel, the so-high feel.is this how you feel when you take drugs? i haven't tried though. i'm breathing hard, i'm feeling nicely-warm. i need a vent for all this adrenaline in me! hyper! yes!

What's Your Personality?Find out!

which song of staywhatyouare are you? find
out!

Take the test, by Emily.

according to the "how high is your self esteem?" test, i have...

LOW self-esteem.

how do you measure up?

i close my eyes, only for a moment and then that moment's disappeared just like that. all my dreams, sweep past my eyes though i refuse to see. the next thing i know, all dreams gone, i'm crumbling to the ground. can't say how i feel, can't tell if my heart would heal, but i always knew from the start, i never really had your heart. so leave me now before i cry. the pain's too much to say goodbye. but always remember in each tear i shed, is an 'i love you' left unsaid.

light in your eyes- blessed union of souls

i can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
all our "I love you"'s were just not enough to survive
something your eyes never told me
but it's only now too plain to see,
brilliant disguise when you hold me
and I'm free
i've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
but how could I have known girl
it was time and not space you would need
darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
but would you believe
there's a light in your eyes that I used to see
there's a place in your heart where I used to be
was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me?
there's a light in your eyes
did you leave that light burning for me?
cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
constant reminder of all the things you get used to
is there a chance in Hell or Heaven?
that there's still something here to build on
or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
but after all
there's a light in your eyes that I used to see
and a song in the words that you spoke to me
was I wrong to believe in your melody?
there's a light in your eyes
did you leave that light burning for me?
should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
fading away
it's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
did you get my letter I wrote you that I did not send?
i tried to call your old number
but the voice that I heard on the phone
i recognized but she told me the number was wrong
there's a light in my eyes it's too bright to see
and a pain in my heart where you used to be
guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
there's a light in your eyes
did you leave that light burning for me?

"you know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? that's where i'll always love you, peter pan. that's where I'll be waiting." -tinkerbell

in a state of delirium. still.

built-up of adrenaline in me just now. went to the park with may and rine. had so much fun. i think i got non-alcoholically-drunk high. haha. felt so good! haven't had such energy since i started college. i went so crazy, may and rine were so "what's-wrong-with-her-let's-pretend-we-don't-know-her". haha. the fun of being so crazy and spontaneous. i almost wanted to use my handphone. and couldn't stop screaming. i was a tad surprised at myself too, but more of amused. =) i feel alot better after those spurts of energy. i hope it doesn't leave me though, even if it just reveals itself in the night. haha. irony of life. lynnette!!!

is anyone still religiously following my pitiable rants? well, well. if there is really someone out there, thanks. i won't feel so pathetic after all. i'm feeling so drained. school's so tedious, for no particular reason. i'm not even bothering to study, i don't know why am i so tired still. i should get myself together and study for my promos. not even revise, study. lethargy's just filling me, the fatigue's draining me...

the sweet torment of loving you...

gees. haven't posted for a few days. too tired. still tired. argh. what's happening to me? what's happening?!

What's Your Tanya Theme?

Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

this is getting too familiar. the noises, the words, the loud talking. getting on my nerves. if i'd the guts, i'd show you what i can do. but i don't, i have to admit. maybe i'm still too young. i'm sick of this life. i wished i had a choice to choose my life, my parents, my family, my friends, my everything. maybe if i could choose, i wouldn't want to live in this ugly green-blue-brown sphere. sometimes i wish i can just kill whoever i want, just do whatever i deem fit. but. i'm living in turmoil. i want to leave this place so much.

Destiny, you are the oldest of The Endless, you are
eternally chained to a book that holds the
secrets of the universe. You are all business,
never have time to even crack a smile, and
always make sure you do not draw too much
attention. You do not want people hunting after
you!


Which Endless are you?
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i can't play the songs i used to play beccause of you
the lonesome feelings start before the intro's halfway through
everyone reminds me of the things we used to do together
i can't go the places that i used to take you to
'cause everywhere the faces there
they all look just like you
until your heart comes back where it belongs
i can't play the songs...

haven't been able to find the whole song lyrics, just had to listen and type.
don't be mistaken, i'm alright. just a self-indulged foolish girl sometimes that's all.

beautiful is being glad to feel sad just thinking about you...
i wish you'd call, i wish you'd be here, i wish you'd just say hello, i wish you knew
where are you...who are you?

can't hold my thoughts together anymore can't recall the memories anymore all's such a bombshell and so sudden it just adds on it's all taking a toll on me my shoulders are tired my eyes are going blind i want to be alone yet i'm feeling so lonely mum and dad call out to me but please don't bother please go away you ain't what you should be friends reach out for me but their hands seem so far away the wrist's bleeding but it's painful no more and comforts me now everywhere i go i can't find my soul back i lost my heart i can't be anyone i want to be i don't know the difference anymore i can't tell right from wrong can't recognise sorrow and laughter never felt so out of place never felt so lost i don't know who i am what i did where i'll go next is the end drawing near i can't wait i can't hold on i'm living in agony putting on my masks of joy but who'll know living in misery feigning my smiles but who'll care staging a play in my life it just tears me up inside the frost-bitten lips move no more the numb feeling just won't go my head's spinning in circles my hands are trembling out of control my mind's a blank i'm nothing but a paper doll a broken paper doll on the brink

skipped school again. got a mc from the polyclinic. went for a movie with angel and jiayu. good times, bed times. all louis koo fans should catch it, all dreamers should watch it. oh, louis koo is irresistible eye-candy! pretty nice romantic comedy, although the plot is abit crappy. =) went to sjh. met granny chee chee. i like her warmth, her affection. want to go back soon. hope i'll get to swop my assigned home, granny chee chee seems so nice and sweet, i like her. right, saturday is my gp test again, how come tests are never ending? and the ptc, hope my brother can make it. argh. i know i'm going to fail econs, but still i'm praying hard. shucks. i may be dead meat when my parents see my progress report. gosh. hope there will not be any econs tutorial tomorrow. grr. can't stand that dreadful subject.

i'm so tired. my mental strength holds me no more. my tears have run out. i'm breaking already. i can't hold on much longer. i don't even know what i want yet i'm yearning for something i can never have. i should back off. i'm waiting for nothing.

just re-read this chinese mail thing. moved me to tears. even in the school lab. haha. what a geek. i'm such a histrionic. oh, well. i don't want to stay in school.

...or whom i think needs it.

- a prayer for somebody who needs it. -

21 questions? i have a thousand more.

From the album "Bounce"
Bon Jovi - Misunderstood

Should I? Could I?
Have said the wrong things right a thousand times
If I could just rewind, I see it in my mind
If I could turn back time, you'd still be mine
You cried, I died
I should have shut my mouth, things headed south
As the words slipped off my tongue, they sounded dumb
If this old heart could talk, it'd say you're the one
I'm wasting time when I think about it
I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, Did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Could I? Should I?
Apologize for sleeping on the couch that night
Staying out too late with all my friends
You found me passed out in the yard again
You cried, I tried
To stretch the truth, but didn't lie
It's not so bad when you think about it
I should have drove all night, I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good
It's you and I, just think about it...
I should have drove all night
I would have run all the lights
I was misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
I 'm hanging outside your door
I've been here before
Misunderstood
I stumbled like my words, did the best I could
Damn, misunderstood
Intentions good.

tomorrow's another school day. it's all taking a toll on me.

so silent. so painful. so tired.

I took the fruity fruit quiz

made by rav-chan

Check out which fruit you are

this is my way to live

What about yours?

made by rav-chan

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	86.7% Never taken out of the packaging	64.8%
Shamelessness	88.1% Has yet to see self in mirror	79.2%
Sex Drive	81.6% The Pope is envious	77.5%
Straightness	28.6% Done the nasty, but not creatively	44.8%
Gayness	100%	83%
Fucking Sick	100%	89.7%
You are 80.56% pure Average Score: 72.4%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

Caring Kitty - You would be one of those cats who
just finds another cat and bonds with them, you
would then spend the rest of your 8 years with
that cat, while being very caring towards other
kittys.


What kind of Kitty would you be?
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My personality is rated 38.What is yours?quiz by midgetfarm.com







take the nerd test.


and go to mewing.net. a nerd utopia.






take the jeans quiz. gus made it!


and go to mewing.net. because laura and gus collectively own over 30 pairs of jeans.

You have the Power of Flight!


What's Your Magic Power?
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just a facade. just a disguise. i can't smile for much longer.

i'm just another girl suffering from some attention deficit, and whom everyone has to call the princess because she needs the undue attention. another one of my personality disorders. oh, well.

i'm such an attention-seeker. i can't help it.

it's not that i don't want to love. it's not easy, i've been through so much, i don't know what's being in love anymore. i just like the feeling of being loved, or simply, being in love with love. that's so right. what do you call loving somebody? i don't believe in love. anymore. maybe interested is the word? i guess i'm not mature enough to know what's love. well, who is? who'll really know what's love? is it just infatuation? it'll all pass in due time. somebody says he loves you, how do you believe that? it's so unlike me, being so cynical about love. i hope i haven't become numb. of course i want to love, but i don't want to rush into things 'cus it's not going to turn out well. i don't know what i want, i'm too playful, too young for any commitment. who can change me, i wonder? perhaps the one who can will be the one. i don't know myself aymore, i'm just another paper doll, just another mask of life. in love with somebody, and to love somebody, i think there's a difference there. define. who can?

I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile. Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away I let mine out, and chatter all the while. I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day Is any day that's spent without a friend, With nothing much to do or hear or say. I like to be with people, and depend On company for being entertained; Which seems a good solution, in the end. What Poetry Form Are You?

You are the Goddess of Friendship
You love to be surrounded by friends and people you
love and they love to be around you! You have
a great heart and thats what they love about
you so much. DON'T EVER CHANGE!


What Kind Of Goddess Are You?
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You are a sad dream


What kind of dream are you?
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Find your Role-Playing
Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.


oh, really?

yes. haven't had times like that for so long. at xue's place chillin' out, blogging from the laptop again. i miss the times! *allsmiles* we pigged out today, ate non-stop. haha. supposed to go bt for lunch with my classmates but did not in the end. oh, well. being here is so much better. thought would be going out with mummy but in the end not, so came over to xue's. poly life is so slack. so envious. haha. but still, you know. =) hope my weekend will be great.

don't turn around please. because i don't want you to see how much i might need you. don't change your direction please. because i don't want you to see how long i've been watching you. don't call my name. because your voice's already playing over and over again in my head. don't hold my hand. because i don't want your touch to linger. don't turn back. because if you do, i'm afraid i won't be able to let you go..

i had a dream, or is it a nightmare? i dreamt that i received a message from that somebody, telling me it's over. telling me that it's no longer there. telling me the ferris wheel has stopped. will the dream come true, or has it already? i got a shock when i received that message. i was sad. i dreamt of so many things, the past, the present...so little that i remember, or that i choose to remember. is this really the end? oh, heaven's playing on radio now. i feel like crying. i can't take it just like that, i won't accept this. but there's nothing i can do anymore.

empty vessels make the most noise. empty promises break the most hearts.

a broken routine. old habits die hard. i hope the saying doesn't hold much truth. please.

i should turn in early. i got to take a much-needed rest. at last, can sleep in later.

why is it i still can't fall asleep?

there's nothing i can listen to now. there's nobody i can listen to now. nothing, nobody.

will be skipping school. all that silly national day celebrations. do we have to do this to show patriotism? gosh. oh, well. school isn't exactly where you'll want to spend your national day eve morning, you see. i wonder if i have to give an excuse letter. today ms yap just walked out of class, simply. how cool. guess she blew her top. but then again, it's due time. we are climbing over her head, sometimes. right, can you imagine breaking your collar bone? it must hurt so much. i feel pain already, just talking about it. ouch.

p.s. did i mention that i'm so very glad i'm in an arts class? =)

why do i feel like something's amiss? why do i feel like something's not right?

happy 38th national day, s'pore.

missing what was never there. mixed feelings. discomfort of it all. don't know what to do. maybe it ain't mean to be after all...shouldn't try for something i can never have.

did he first appear because of my thoughts, falling in sleep? if i'd known he was a dream, i'd have never awakened...

is that all we see or seem but a dream within a dream...

sometimes love just ain't enough...

so much to say, so hidden inside. feel so much, with no right so. wanting so much, lost in all. it hurts, but no one knows. i want to spill, but there's no will. my eyes are closing, the tears are falling...what do i do?

venting all of it all on my liver, will it hurt, will i die?

i don't want to be strong and sensible and everything anymore. i'm so sick of it all, i'm so mad at it all, i'm missing it all so much i can scream. but i won't. my lips are bitten and my heart's torn. only for the end, i drag myself along..

i feel with an edge of a knife. i don't want to be lonely, i just want to be alone...

my method of suicide: asphyxiation.

how would you commit suicide?

just like the song by david gates so much, i can't play the songs. but just can't seem to find the lyrics. yet. maybe they'll be out soon. the song's so soothingly melancholic. "i look into her eyes, but then i say your name instead..."

the sun's just as bright
and the sight is breath-taking
but i'm feigning happiness
instead of enjoying the scene
someone's missing in this picture
like a jigsaw puzzle with a lost piece
i find no words nor phrase
to express my feelings
an aching heart is the only evidence
that there's always a longing in me.

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Test

You should be dating an Aquarius.
20 January - 18 February
Your mate is communicative, thoughtful and caring.
Though he/she can be tactless and rude and
sometimes self-interested, he/she enjoys the
intellectual experience of sex.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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hilarious: you are as funny as the cheekiest guys
in class and know everything thats happening on
TV and all the hot places to chill. you aren't
a typical bubblegum princess, you pride
yourself on your musical picks and your
attitude. sometimes you get carried away and
often get scolded for that, but otherwise if
people want to have fun then you're the person
they'll come to! you can be as girlie as
britney when you're in the mood and as hard
assed as pink when you want. your mates love
you for being so; fun, interesting and
unpredictable, you go girl!


what kind of girl are you?
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You represent... happiness.
Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a
sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread
your happiness. You have a tendency to be a
little hyper, but you have the ability to make
your own fun no matter what.


What feeling do you represent?
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deriving joy from such quizzes. virtual joy.

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	lynnette
You will die on:	Saturday, October 11, 2031
You will die of:	Serial Killer Victim
Username:
Created by Quill

argh! save me...i can't believe you, i can't believe myself, i can't believe life anymore...

i still can't sleep. just did my projectwork and geog tutorial. did them quite sloppily though, for the sake of doing it! something seems to be bugging me, i can't explain what.

`allmydreamsareupsidedownijustwanttochangethewaytheworldturnsround

what am i doing up so late...? i feel funny. i feel weird. am i the only one in here?

really. i don't even know what i'm doing. i don't know what i'm up to. seriously, i'm such a failed joke. making a fool out of myself.